Deadly Bonds (19 page)

“I’ll be ready to head out in a couple minutes, but if you want to grab a shower first to revive yourself...” She was watching him with concern. He probably looked like hell. “I can make us some coffee.”

“I don’t have much in the way of breakfast food, but there’s still a bit of birthday cake left if you’re hungry.”

“Starved. Especially for chocolate cake.” She padded over on bare feet and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pressed her lips to his, her warmth seeping into his system. She tasted of the mint from her toothpaste and smelled like his shampoo. The combination made his heart rate skyrocket. “I was hoping you’d have time to rest a little more. Did you bring Roscoe’s food over?”

“No.”

“Do you know what brand Roscoe likes? We can pick some up on the way.”

Talking about mundane, daily necessities after all that had happened, and all that
could have
happened to her, caused something inside to snap. “No. Contrary to popular belief, I don’t know everything. And I’m sure as hell not perfect.” He let his fear and frustration out in his curt tone. Realizing he was responsible for a sweet, elderly woman’s death was too much to take. Imagining Sara or Theo as next among the victims threatened to send him over the edge.

She pulled away, confusion and hurt reflected in her eyes. “Why don’t you get ready while I let Roscoe out?”

He gathered his shaving materials, thankful for the quiet after Sara left. But the smell of her remained in the steamy air. He couldn’t help feeling he’d missed some vital opportunity. It was just as well. In the short walk from his neighbor’s house, he’d realized something—he had to break things off with Sara, or at least make it look to Toxin like, despite last night, they weren’t on the greatest of terms. Besides, if he could lure Toxin with a sense of victory, yet keep an eye on Sara from a distance, they might be able to trap the killer.

He let a quick shower wash away his doubts. It had to be done. He’d been through enough pain, losing one woman he loved. He couldn’t go through losing someone else he cared about.

Sara returned as he was shaving and set down a mug of coffee on the counter beside him. Her glance quickly took in his towel-slung hips and the shaving cream that covered his jaw before meeting his eyes. He squelched the stirring of interest her visual caress had evoked. “Roscoe and I are, um, ready to go. Theo called. I hope you don’t mind that I answered, but it came up with his picture on the screen.”

He met Sara’s gaze in the mirror and pulled his armor around himself. He had to do this. He had to make her walk away. “You answered my cell phone?”

“I knew it was Theo and I didn’t want him to worry. I thought it might be better if he heard about Roscoe from me or you...”

He set his razor down on the sink and rounded on her. “You told Theo about Toxin killing Mrs. Mendelson? How irresponsible could you be?”

Involuntarily, she backed away a step, shocked at his anger. Good. She’d be hurt, but she’d be alive. And if Toxin was as close to her on a daily basis as he seemed to be, she needed to be on her toes all the time. The only way to do that was to push her away for good. For real. He could no longer be a distraction.

“Of course I didn’t tell him...not all of it. I told him Roscoe would be with us today. And I told him we’d be in a hurry so you could get to work this morning and catch the bad guys. I was going to let
you
explain the rest to him. God, you
still
don’t know me at all.” She spun on her heel and left. He quickly finished shaving, wincing as the blade nicked his jawline. He yanked on clothes, ignoring the tightness in his chest. When he found Sara, she was already leading Roscoe to the front door. Her suitcase sat waiting in the front hallway. She didn’t spare him a look.

Another woman was leaving this home and possibly never coming back. The reality hit Holt like a wrecking ball to the ribcage.

“Time to get back to reality,” she said as she tossed him his coat and slipped into her own. It was still dark as they stepped out and walked to the car. The air had taken on a distinct chill.

* * *

“Hey, Miss Sara.” Theo slid into the backseat. Holt’s parents waved from their doorway. “Hey, Roscoe. We get to hang out together today.” Theo rubbed Roscoe’s neck and the dog turned in a circle once before settling on the seat next to him with a whimpering sigh.

Sara choked down her hurt as Holt got behind the wheel. He hadn’t wanted her to come in to say hello to his parents, asking her to wait in the car instead. The request had followed a silent car ride that had her nerves on edge. With monosyllabic replies, he’d shut down any attempts at conversation until she’d taken the hint and sat quietly.

“Where’s Becca?” she asked.

“She’ll be a few minutes behind us. Dad wanted to talk to her about how he can increase security.”

“She’ll be taking up her post at the school again?” Sara had hoped everything would be over after this weekend, but it looked like they were back to square one—with Toxin and with Holt. He acted as if they’d never made the leap to intimacy. Perhaps he was regretting opening up to her. Her throat clenched.

“Yes. As will I.”

“What?”

“We’re both going to be watching you and Theo. And the rest of the school.”

The thought of having him around, day in and day out, but just out of reach was depressing. What had she done now that made him back away? She replayed the morning in her mind and came up with no answers. “For how long?”

His gaze slid to her briefly before returning to the road. “As long as it takes.”

She looked into the backseat, but Theo had slipped his headphones on and was listening to his iPod, his head bobbing to the music. She turned to Holt. “Why was Toxin so angry? We went to the banquet like he wanted.”

Holt glanced in the rearview mirror. “Apparently it wasn’t enough.” His gaze met hers briefly.

“Or maybe it was too much?” she guessed.

The pulse in his neck jumped. “Don’t try to figure out a killer.”

“No, that’s
your
job.”

“I made a mistake involving you.” His lips pressed into a thin line.

Understanding dawned. “You think pushing me away will save me.”

His gaze again flicked to the rearview mirror but avoided her. “Let’s drop it, okay?”

The gothic structure of the Academy came into view, framed by her window. She was almost home. Except that brought a whole other range of problems. She’d have to seek out the Rochard boys this morning—if they were even at school—and express her condolences. “What do I say to Neil and Jeremy about John?”

“Whatever you say, they know you care. You got Theo through some tough times after Elizabeth died. In fact, if you could talk to Theo, too, I’d appreciate it. Jeremy is a close friend. What he’s going through might remind Theo of losing his mother. And then there’s Mrs. Mendelson’s death...”

“You’re going to drop this bomb on Theo and then leave? I thought you were sticking around to be added security.”

“I have to run to SSAM for a meeting today, but I’ll be back. Besides, you’ll be here to look out for Theo.”

He was right, of course. No matter what was going on between her and Holt, she wouldn’t let Theo down. Holt, on the other hand, was apparently going to perform another disappearing act.

Chapter Eighteen

Holt glanced at the caller ID as the cell phone on his desk vibrated and lit up.

Sara.

He let the call go. After all, what could he say after days of keeping her at arm’s length?

Sorry I’m such a jackass
,
but it’s better this way
,
me keeping my distance.
At least for a while.

One side of his mouth lifted. No, she’d have stopped him at
sorry.

Then she’d have chewed him out for treating her like a yo-yo. One minute he was enjoying having her in his house and in his bed, and the next he was sitting in the cold in his car outside the school, refusing to talk to her when she spotted him and came over to his window to talk.

He was just as frustrated as she was. His body stirred whether she was yelling her exasperation or trying to coax him inside the school with hot chocolate. And his mind...the past few days in the car had given him way too much time to remember. To imagine what the next time he made love to her would be like. And the time after that. It would take a century to make love to her in all the ways he’d daydreamed about.

Making love?
The words shocked Holt. It shouldn’t have. He’d never been the type to have affairs. With Elizabeth, he’d fallen fast, and when she’d gotten pregnant, the end result had been evident. Without Elizabeth...well, she hadn’t expected him to waste his life grieving for her. She’d always been fun-loving, but also practical.

“You need someone to look out for you. Let Sara help.” Elizabeth had stroked the back of his hand where it rested on her blanket. Soft fleece beneath his palm and paper-thin skin on top. He’d turned his hand over to grasp her fragile one. Her over-bright eyes had sought his. “You try to save the world, but who will save you when I’m gone? And if you work yourself to death, who’ll be there for Theo?”

When his body was involved, so were his mind, heart and soul. Sara had captured all the above. Even more shocking was that he was okay with that. No, he was more than okay with loving Sara. He craved her and couldn’t wait to see her again. In fact, the only reason he was at SSAM now, instead of parked in his car in the Academy’s frigid parking lot watching for a glimpse of her, was because Max had told him to get here,
pronto.

Holt frowned at his watch. The guy was supposed to meet him twenty minutes ago. Perhaps he should get back to the school...

Max rushed into his office, his face animated. “Sorry to pull you away from the Academy, but I’ve got a live one.”

“A lead?” Holt felt his heart leap.

“Einstein got a hit on one of the online forums he’s been monitoring. Henry posted a message for Toxin, saying his order was ready and he could pick it up at three today. It’s got to be the same Henry.”

“You tell Noah?”

“Left him a message, but he’s tied up...or tasting more wedding cake samples. Time to pay a visit to Henry?” The grin on Max’s face left little doubt as to what he wanted to do.

Holt ignored his phone as the vibrations started again.
Sara.
A moment later, a final hiccup-like vibration told him he’d missed another call.

Max tipped his head at him. “You gonna answer that some time in this millennium?”

“If it’s important, she’ll leave a message. Becca’s at the school and would have called us if there was some kind of urgent issue.” Besides, he’d see Sara this afternoon. And then he didn’t intend to leave her side...in fact, he’d been toying with the idea of inviting her to come stay with him and Theo for another weekend, maybe even through Thanksgiving. Toxin was still on the loose, after all. Until then, Becca would be close to her.

Max’s eyebrows rose. “In my
considerable
experience, ignoring a woman only pisses her off.”

“I’ll make her understand.” Once he understood it all himself. The mixed feelings of exhilaration and loss were confusing as hell. How could he feel loss over his relationship with Sara—something he’d only held in his hands for the blink of an eye?

Ten minutes later, Max glanced at him from the driver’s seat of the truck. “What’re you looking at?”

“Text from Theo.” Holt read it again. “
Looking forward to Thanksgiving break.
” His heart squeezed. He’d pushed his son away so many times over the past year, and yet Theo didn’t hold it against him. He’d even hugged him again when he’d dropped him off today, before disappearing inside the school under Becca’s watchful eye.

“He’s okay?”

“Yeah. Lately, I’ve felt like I’ve got my son back. Sara’s worked wonders with him.” He’d been as honest as possible with Theo about Mrs. Mendelson’s death, leaving out the gory details but explaining that the killer he’d been hunting was trying to get Holt’s attention. He wanted his son to be careful, but not fearful. Sara had insisted on meeting with Theo every day this week to be sure he had someone to talk to, if he wanted it. So far, Theo was coping well.

“And with you.”

She’d made him feel alive again, and once revived, his body craved more. But he couldn’t have more until he closed this case. “She’ll understand if I wait to call her back. I’ll see her in a couple hours, anyway.”

Max snorted. “Man, for a guy who was married, you know nothing about women.”

He scowled at Max. “And as a guy who flits from one piece of eye candy to another,
you
do?” His answer was an arched eyebrow.

“Yes, I do.”

“I haven’t dated in over a decade.” At Max’s horrified look, he laughed. “This may come as a surprise to you, but being happily married will put a damper on your dating life.”

“Nope, no surprise. It’s why I’ve avoided it this long.” Max parked in front of a derelict house. Drops of rain mixed with snow dotted the windshield, obliterating the sad view before the wipers pushed them away. The sky beyond was a slash of gray.

Holt immediately thought about Theo. Sara would have her hands full with the storm the weathercasters had predicted for their area this afternoon. Thankfully, it would be evening when the worst hit and the kids would be safe at home. His parents had flown to Hawaii to spend Thanksgiving with friends there, and Holt would be picking up Theo—and hopefully, Sara—today.

All this time to think had led him to one conclusion—he needed Sara in his life. He’d kept his distance all week to give the illusion that they were no longer connected, but he was out of patience. And with the school empty over break, he couldn’t let Sara stay there by herself. He would convince her to come home with him for the holiday and keep her safe.

Once Toxin’s apprehended
,
Sara
,
Theo and I will move on together
,
as a family.

“Noah’s meeting us here, right?” Max scanned the street.

Holt texted Noah and received an immediate response. “He’s twenty minutes away yet.”

A scrawny young man, whose pants were hanging so low it was a wonder he could walk, came out of the house and looked both ways as he tucked something in the front pocket of his jeans. He spied their truck parked across the street and skittered in the opposite direction down the sidewalk.

“Is that Henry?” Holt asked.

“Henry’s a white guy, mid-thirties.”

Wrong race, wrong age. As they watched, the young man pulled out his phone, glancing back at Henry’s house. “Looks like we just lost the element of surprise. No time to wait for Noah.”

Max and Holt reached for their door handles at the same time. They crossed the street and moved up the walk to the tiny house with the brown patch of lawn.

The revving of an engine from behind them was followed by the squeal of tires and the sound of a gunshot, followed by another.

“Get down!” Max’s shout was barely heard over the noise, but Holt was already diving to the ground as survival instinct took over. Crisp, dry blades of long-dead grass poked into his cheek. Max’s body hit the dirt next to him. Holt felt a moment of alarm, fearing his partner had been hit. But, from a prone position, Max steadied his pistol and aimed it at the car roaring by Henry’s house.

The thud of Max’s bullets hitting metal rang in their ears. Their assailant fired back and wood from Henry’s house splintered. The window that faced the street shattered. The noise died down as the car squealed around a corner and disappeared from sight.

Holt lifted his head, and Max grunted with pain. A dark stain was spreading on his left biceps. Max followed his gaze. “Just a flesh wound. I got lucky.”

The whine of rusty hinges alerted them that someone was exiting the shot-up house. A person matching Henry’s description bolted toward the scraggly hedge that separated his house from the neighbor’s. In unison, Holt and Max pushed off the ground and raced after him.

* * *

Breathless from rushing around, making sure the kids got matched up to their parents before the sleet turned to ice on the streets, Sara shoved the hood of her winter jacket off her head, creating a shower of cold sprinkles. She’d kill for a cup of something warm and rejuvenating. The stress of the impending storm on top of impressing and entertaining the school board members who’d shadowed her all day had her exhausted. But she’d finally tucked the last board member into his car and could now breathe. There were only a few more students to send on their way and she could relax.

Cheryl stood to take Sara’s jacket from her. “Holt just returned your call. I’ll take over with student pick-up duty.”

“Becca’s out there helping, too, and almost everybody is gone, but I’ll take all the support I can get today. Thanks.” Sara entered her office and rounded her desk. She lifted the receiver and pressed the blinking light that indicated Holt was on hold. “Are you on your way? Theo’s waiting downstairs. There’s only a handful of kids left.”

“That’s what I’m calling about. Something came up.” He sounded preoccupied.

“Another one of those leads that don’t pan out?” She hated the censure in her voice, but she’d spent the day defending herself against John Rochard’s accusations as to her unfit character.

Holt had been right outside her office all week, sitting in his car like an obstinate mule despite her quest to get him inside the building. And now, when he should be picking up Theo for a long holiday break together, he was miles away. A snowstorm was expected any minute. If Holt and Theo were
hers
, she’d stop at the grocery store to stock up on firewood, cocoa, marshmallows and popcorn. They’d watch the flakes pile higher and higher outside the window as they sipped cocoa and made plans to build a snow fort in the morning. That was what a normal family would do.

But she wasn’t part of their family. And their history made them far from normal. Sara’s mouth tightened and a throbbing began in her head. A throbbing that echoed in her chest, around the vicinity of her heart. “What came up?”

“You guessed right about us having a new lead.”

“Did you catch Toxin?”

“Not yet, but it’s a solid lead. We have an accomplice of his in custody and may have Toxin behind bars by evening.”

“
May have?
” she asked. He was making the world safer, but at what personal cost? She’d learned the hard way to appreciate every day with her family as a gift.

“Sara?” Holt’s voice held a note of pleading she’d never heard from him before.

“So are your parents coming to get Theo?”

“They’re away for the holidays, and Elizabeth’s parents retired in the southwest years ago.”

“There’s nobody else?”

“No. Everyone else I would trust with something like this is working on this case. And if Becca takes him home, that leaves you unguarded.” He paused and she could imagine seeing the thoughts flitting across his face as he composed his argument. “Look, I know it’s a lot to ask, but is there any way Theo can stay with you and Becca, just overnight? It really is important.” There was another voice on Holt’s end of the line and the conversation became muffled. Still, the tone sounded as urgent as he’d indicated.

What bothered her most was that he didn’t think twice about imposing on her. “You’re assuming
I’ll
be here tonight. What if I have plans for the holidays?”

“Sorry. I really am, Sara—about so much. But even if you have plans, you should cancel. The weather’s going to take a turn for the worse. I don’t want you traveling in this weather.”

Her grand plans had been to watch a movie and snuggle under the blankets as the snow came down. She also had yet to pack for her trip to Mexico. She was supposed to leave tomorrow afternoon. And, as he’d mentioned, it really wasn’t safe for Holt to try to come now. Outside her window, a mix of rain and snow was falling. She sighed. Above all, she wanted both her boys safe and warm. “That goes both ways. Stay put. I’ll watch Theo.”

“Thank you.”

“If the roads are clear, be here to pick him up by noon tomorrow.” Or she would personally hunt him down and kick his butt for deserting his son and making her miss her flight. The weather forecast predicted a foot of snow, but their area was usually prepared for such a large amount and the snowplows would be working nonstop.

“I’d like to talk to you too,” she added. Things had grown awkward, and she couldn’t let them continue that way. Otherwise, she’d be carrying a hell of a lot of baggage with her to Mexico.

“I’ll be there. You can count on me.”

She suppressed a snort. He’d been avoiding a serious discussion over the phone, or in his car, for days—and face-to-face? Forget about it. He wouldn’t sit through a conversation without a liberal amount of Duct Tape.

“Thank you, again. And Sara, I really am going to catch Toxin, very possibly tonight.”

“Just...please be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt.”

There was hesitation on his end. When he spoke, his words were firm with conviction. “I won’t let him hurt any of us again.”

As she hung up, Cheryl appeared in the doorway to her office, tugging on her parka and scarf. She was scowling. “You heard?” Sara guessed.

“Enough.”

“I have to hope he’ll come through.”

“In the meantime, Jeremy will have someone to play with.”