Dead Girl in Love (18 page)

“And seriously freak Mom out,” I added wryly.

“Theresa was always easily shocked.”

“Finding out your daughter is actually your dead mother would be shocking.”

“I know.” Her sigh carried through the phone, soft and wistful. “Being with my Terry again has been a wonderful gift, and I can’t complain.”

“Still, it’s got to be hard, too, when you can’t say what’s on your mind.” I meant this in more ways than one as I tried to work up the courage to tell Grammy about Gabe. But with her confession about Mom and the whole TPing thing, this wasn’t the right time to mention my secret meetings with a Dark Lifer. I’d call her back tonight.

The rest of the day was quiet, mostly because Mrs. Perfetti had as much life as a zombie. She alternated between sleeping and watching TV, taking time out only to share a pizza with me. Her depression worried me, but at least she wasn’t ranting about the devil or hiding under furniture.

Exhausted from my previous late night with Gabe, I fell asleep early. I dreamed that a giant woodpecker was tapping on my brain.
Tap, tap, tap
. The sound wouldn’t go away and grew louder.

When I jerked up in bed, I was relieved that it had only been a dream and that giant woodpeckers didn’t exist.

Then I heard it:
tap, tap, tap
.

I looked at the window and saw a shadowy figure right outside it.

With a start, I jumped back, ready to run and call 911. But when the shadow waved an arm in a “come here” gesture, I recognized the broad shoulders, wavy hair, and cap.

Gabe!

My emotions surged forward like a wild thrill ride that I couldn’t wait to take. I hurried over to the window and slid open the glass. Gabe was straddling a thick branch of the tree I’d climbed so many times.

“What are you doing here?” I spoke softly, although there wasn’t anyone close enough to overhear and I doubted any neighbors could see Gabe. He blended in with the shadows, as if the darkness was welcoming one of their own.

“I had to see you,” he whispered through the grainy screen.

“But you shouldn’t have risked coming here. It’s not safe!”

“Not safe for whom?”

Good question, I thought uneasily, at the same time impressed with his grammar. I never could get the hang of who and whom.

I told him to climb down and wait for me. Then I grabbed a jacket and slipped quietly out of the bedroom, ignoring the voice inside me warning that this wasn’t a good idea. Earlier today I’d spoke of love and the future with Eli. Now here I was sneaking out to meet another guy. I loved Eli—that was something I was absolutely sure of—yet I couldn’t resist seeing Gabe again any more than I could resist licking the spoon when I mixed cookie dough. My roller-coaster emotions whirled up and down, spinning out of control and flying off the rails.

I couldn’t wait to see Gabe again.

When I peeked into the living room, Mrs. Perfetti was still sleeping, which worried me a little since it didn’t seem normal to sleep so much. Still, I was glad, since it would be easier to sneak out without her knowing. The DVD had ended and the TV screen showed a blank blue screen, humming slightly. I stepped softly through the door in the mud room and into the backyard.

It took a minute for my eyes to adjust to the dim light.

And there was Gabe, sitting on the edge of a brick planter, smiling up at me in a way that flip-flopped my stomach. His eyes, shadowed underneath the brim of his cap, were impossible to read. But his lips curved with secrets and promises. And I smelled a heady salty scent of fathomless seas.

There was something forbidden, dangerous, and irresistible about being here, a few feet from a dead guy who could easily slip into bodies and minds. When he tipped his cap, staring deep into my face, I seemed to dive into the fathomless sea-green of his eyes. We stood, neither moving forward, staring at each other for a long moment.

Not sure what I was feeling, only that I had no right to feel anything for Gabe, I shook off this weird mood and went straight to business.

“Gabe, before you ask, no, I haven’t set up a meeting with my grandmother yet. But I will, either tonight or tomorrow morning. Time is running out fast, and you’re in danger.”

“I am?” He didn’t sound alarmed, only curious.

“The DDT knows you’re in the area.”

“You’re breaking rules by telling me this,” he said, gazing deeper into my face.

“I expect to be struck with lightning any moment,” I joked.

“They won’t harm
you.”

“But you could lose everything. It’s dangerous for you to even be here with me.”

“The risk is worth it to see you. You’re wrong about why I came here—not because I want to meet with your grandmother. It’s to share my power with you. We have unfinished business.”

He didn’t say it, but I knew he meant fusing.

And I wanted to—help me, God—I wanted to.

“I can’t.” I shook my head, backing away from him.

He followed, his brief touch shooting fireworks through me.

“Please, Amber.”

When he said my name, with that faint English lilt to his voice, I lost all reasonable thinking ability and melted like chocolate over a bonfire. He’d risked his soul to come here for me. He was so gallant, not like any one I’d ever met before … or would meet again.

So I nodded and whispered, “One last time.”

“Is there someplace private we can go?” he asked, sweeping his gaze around the dimly lit backyard with its scattered patio furniture and grass that needed mowing. There was a doghouse, too, although the Perfettis hadn’t had a dog in years. Except for a wisp of wind that rustled the leaves and shadows, the yard was as still as death.

I glanced over at the bright lights shining from neighboring windows. “The garage, I guess. No one ever goes in there since it’s easier to park the cars in the driveway.”

I led him into the detached garage, pushing open a door that squeaked from lack of use. Reaching out, I felt for the light switch and flipped on a fluorescent tube light fixed into the open rafters. Dust swirled as I took a step inside, and I sneezed.

“Bless you,” Gabe said, coming up behind me.

“A blessing from a Dark Lifer?” I teased.

“Being a fugitive doesn’t mean a lack of manners.”

I shoved aside a pile of old newspapers and some boxes to make a path through the cluttered junk, then turned to Gabe curiously. “I can’t figure you out.”

“If this were a movie, I’d be the villain.”

“I’m not so sure. You’re polite, poetic, and you’ve offered to help me even though I reported you to the DD Team.”

“Ah, so the truth comes out at last. You’re the villain.” He folded his arms across his chest, giving me a wry smile. “Life isn’t black and white; people aren’t all light or dark. It’s the gray inside all of us that makes things interesting.”

“You’re definitely interesting.”

“I hope to be much more than that … ” There was a deliberate pause, something dangerous smoldering in his sea eyes. Then he added, “To you.”

Lost for words, I broke away from his gaze, tripping over a garden hose coiled like a snake. Stumbling but catching myself before I fell, I moved deeper into the garage, assuring myself that I was doing the right thing. This was all about helping Alyce and had nothing to do with any attraction for Gabe.

With its dust, dried grass, and oil smells, the garage was not a great setting for a spiritual ceremony. I glanced with some embarrassment at scattered tools, a broken lawnmower, and old bikes stacked up against the wall. A pink bike with a banana seat reminded me of Alyce, when we were little and used to ride bikes all over the neighborhood. Everything had seemed so simple then, and I had no idea that beneath Alyce’s smiles lurked a tragic secret. It was still hard to believe she’d been searching for the grave of a sister she’d never told me about.

Of course, there had been clues—moments when she seemed sad and cried for no reason. She’d say her mother was mad at her for stupid stuff like not finishing homework or cleaning her room. But now I suspected her tears had been for more serious reasons. Why hadn’t I guessed she was suffering? How could I be so blind? I thought I knew everything about her … but I’d been wrong.

Now I had a chance to make it up to her, to find the missing grave and give closure to this family secret. Gabe had the key to accessing powers and learning more than was humanly possible.

He gestured to a ripped brown-leather couch that had been pushed up against a wall. “Let’s sit there.”

I nodded as if under a spell, unable to refuse him anything.

“So how do we start?” I asked, heart thumping. “Can you, um, connect with your powers when you’re not near sea water?”

“When in doubt, improvise.” He pulled out a small paper bag from his pocket. “I brought something that should help both of us focus.”

When he said “both of us,” like we were one entity instead of two, I leaned closer to him as if pulled by a magnetic force. Everything about him radiated charismatic power: the confident lift of his chin, the narrowed intensity in his expression, and the lilting cadence of his words. Although his body may have been borrowed, Gabe’s true personality dominated its flesh and features. I longed to be even closer to him—which frightened yet thrilled me. What was going on with me? My body, thoughts, and desires were strange and traitorous.

“What’s inside?” I looked down at the ordinary paper bag, hoping to hide how my cheeks flamed as I anticipated what we were about to do together.

“You’ve heard of gateway drugs? What I have isn’t a drug, but its ordinary sweetness can open our gateway to alternate planes of consciousness.”

“I don’t get it.” I furrowed my brow.

“But you will,” he said with a mysterious smile. “You’ll get more than you can even imagine.”

“I have a pretty good imagination.”

“You’ll need it.”

“Are you trying to scare me?”

“Prepare you,” he corrected. “As Einstein said,
Logic will get you from A to B. Imagination will take you everywhere.
And I will take you to everywhere else. Are you ready?”

I took a deep breath, then nodded.

“Concentrate and keep focusing, no matter how strange things may seem. What you experienced last time was only a taste of power. Now I’ll show you the real thing—merging soul energies. Fusing.”

That ordinary-yet-eerie word hinted at a closeness more profound than anything I’d ever experienced. I wasn’t afraid in a young-girl-with-older-guy way, because I knew this wasn’t physical. I didn’t understand how our souls could merge. I wanted to learn, though, especially if I could gain abilities that would help with my Temp Life job.

“Close your eyes and hold out your hands,” he told me in a commanding way I couldn’t refuse even if I’d wanted to … which I didn’t.

I cupped my hands together, closing my eyes. A memory flashed in my mind of another girl holding out her hands for Gabe and his heartless betrayal of her love, but I pushed it aside because that was the old Gabe, not this upgraded version.

There was a whispery rustle of paper, then something small and smooth fell into my palms. Opening my eyes, I stared down at a colorful rainbow of wax-wrapped candies.

“Saltwater taffy,” I said, moving my fingers so the wrapped bundles rolled like tossed dice against my skin.

“Combining your hunger for chocolate with mine for the ocean.”

“But there’s no saltwater in taffy. It’s an urban myth.”

“Right.” He beamed at me like a teacher giving kudos to a top student.

“I read about it somewhere,” I said, smiling. “I think the candy was created on the Atlantic Beach Boardwalk like a hundred years ago.”

“Longer—in the 1880s. Some people credit it to Joseph Fralinger, who was known as the Saltwater Taffy King.”

“Did you know him?”

“Sure, I know all famous dead guys.” Gabe chuckled. “Not really. That was even before my time.”

“If there’s no saltwater in taffy, how will it work for you?”

“I’m skilled enough to connect without any stimuli. Still, there is salt and water in the candy mixture, and I associate this candy with the ocean even if it’s not made with sea water. I brought the candy to help you focus, choosing chocolate varieties like rocky road, caramel, and chocolate chip cookie dough.”

“Mmmm … cookie dough.” My mouth watered.

“Go ahead,” he urged. “Unwrap a candy and put it on your tongue, tasting and enjoying it as it slowly melts.”

“Can’t I chew?” I asked.

“Hold off until you can’t resist, building on the sweet taste until you reach a happy, peaceful state of mind. Allow the candy to seep into all of your senses: see the chocolate in your mind, hear your throat swallowing, feel and smell melting sweetness and savor the taste. Combined together, the five senses create a sixth and more energized sense that lifts you to a higher plane.”

I nodded, listening to the crinkle of the waxy paper as it fell from my fingers to the floor, and then bringing the soft smooth taffy to my lips.

As I sank into all my senses, I was still aware of Gabe. He was pulling seven small, spiraled candles from his jacket pocket, arranging them in a circle on an upturned barrel. Almost reverently, he lit each candle, whispering foreign words. Then he pulled two cushions off the couch and tossed them to the concrete floor, near the barrel. He gestured for me to sit down on one while he knelt on the other, his arm so close to mine that our elbows brushed.

I was on fire, probably more from his touch than the heat wafting from the candles. I could heard my own heart, thumping like it was competing in a race. I wondered what I’d find at the finish line.

Gabe swirled his hands in circles over the candles, stirring up the smoke so it seemed to merge and blend into a gray cloud.

“Do you feel the energy, Amber?”

“I feel … everything.”

His eyes shone approval. “It’s beginning. Now things will move fast and you must promise to follow my instructions. It’s already starting, more intense than last time.”

“What’s happening?” I said through a dizzy fog.

“Fusing,” he whispered and an electric charge shot through me.

“Fusing,” I repeated, awed by the wondrous exhilaration of Gabe’s nearness. This wasn’t lust or love and had nothing to do with my feelings for Eli. Gabe was guiding me on a non-physical soul journey; I was guilt-free.

Unable to resist any longer, I chewed and swallowed, closing my eyes. The taffy melted like sugared wine, intoxicating and hot, as it spilled down my throat. I started to reach for another candy, but Gabe was already unwrapping one and offering it to me. When his fingers touched my lips, I tasted warm, delicious bliss. Beyond thinking or questioning, I soared somewhere that seemed both familiar and terrifying.

“Amber,” he intoned my name with the soft intensity. “Take my hand and repeat everything I say.”

Some part of me resisted, because the mere touch of his hands could destroy me, yet this wasn’t about destroying—this was about learning powers. So when his fingers found my own, I held on.

I wasn’t sure what I was feeling or even who I was anymore. I seemed to be disconnecting from flesh, rising away from the body I knew to be Alyce.

My eyes were still shut but I saw Gabe against a backdrop of dazzling stars, as if he stood poised against the edge of a world with infinite galaxies. And there I was beside him, looking like myself although draped in luminescence. We held hands, suspended together in soul. I didn’t understand, and was struck with acute fear that he’d let me go and I’d fall into a black void of nothingness.

“Don’t hold back, Amber.”

“I’m not … I’m just confused. How will this help Alyce?”

“Don’t think of her. There is only now. Only us.”

“I don’t understand.” The stars darkened and my fingers slipped, but he grabbed and held tight.

“You will soon,” he said.

And I wanted to, as I was swept along a current of absolute joy, rejoicing in the freedom of being in spirit. Energy was building like powerful clouds, lifting us away from mundane things. Gabe no longer wore his borrowed body so I saw him in true form, with his dark ponytail and sun-kissed skin and those compelling, gray-green eyes. His hat slouched over his brow, drawing attention to the sharp curves of his cheeks and soft, full promise of his lips.

His lips curled up at the corners, as if he was thinking of deep secrets. His soul body moved slowly, lightning strands of energy connecting us in a way that seemed more intimate and personal than human touch.

An ocean scent swirled around me as Gabe pursed his lips in invitation. “So close now,” he intoned in a sultry voice. “Come seal our union. All it takes is a kiss.”

“I can’t!” I jerked away. “I have a boyfriend.”

“We are no longer bound by human rules. Here, we make our own rules.”

“Still, no kissing … Eli wouldn’t like it.”

“Eli is unimportant.”

“Not to me, and I can’t lie to him.”

His sea eyes darkened and for a moment I was afraid he was angry. But then he smiled. “I understand. If not with a kiss, entwine both of your hands with mine.”

“Is that safe? Won’t it drain me of energy? I mean, since you’re a Dark Lifer.”

“I promise—it’s completely safe.”

“But how will this teach me powers to help Alyce?”

“You’ll have infinite power, Amber. Trust me.”

But his words, rather than offering reassurance, shot me with fear. “Trust me.” I’d heard him say that before—once on a cliff to another girl, and then to me on a boat. Instead of trusting, I pulled my hands back.