Dakota Love (56 page)

“You don’t have to say anything, Lil. I didn’t tell you this for sympathy, pity, or to cleanse my conscience. God’s healing power did that for me years ago. I finally realized that if He could forgive me, I could forgive myself.”

Walt rose from his chair, covering the short span between them. He pulled Lil to him. The fresh scent of the dryer sheets and soft denim tickled her nose as her head rested on his shoulder.

“I told you this, Lil, because whatever it is that you feel you can’t tell me, you can tell God. He’ll listen and forgive you.” Walt’s hand ran up and down her arm, the puffy sleeves of her sweatshirt bunching under his hand.

Lil tensed. She knew that God forgave. She’d given Him this burden years ago in the chapel of the small hospital when she was a student nurse. But God wasn’t the person she worried wouldn’t forgive her. After Walt’s experience with Nancy, she knew the truth would cut him to the core. She couldn’t do that to him. Wouldn’t do that to him.

She lifted her hand to his to stop the comforting movement.

“Hello?” A voice drifted through the living room to the kitchen.

“Breakfast. Your guests are expecting breakfast.” Lil pulled free of Walt’s embrace. Thanking God for the distraction, she hurried to the refrigerator.

“Lil, I’ve been awake for a long time. I put the breakfast spread out already.”

The walker tapped against the floor. Lil turned to see Walt pass through the living room doorway.

Grabbing on to the counter for support, Lil’s legs wobbled all the way to the table. She collapsed in the chair, uncertain if her weak knees were from Walt’s embrace or guilt or both.

Walt meant his story to be a comfort to Lil, to give her permission to let go of whatever past mistake she’d made in her life. Instead it just heaped more coals on her head.

There was no way her heart could take the look of betrayal her admission would draw from Walt’s eyes, especially after what he experienced during the war—trying to save a fellow solider, losing him, and being wounded by the enemy. She’d owned up to her mistakes once and it cost her the promised happily-ever-after ending to her life story.

Muffled laughter drifted in from the living room, Walt’s rich baritone, distinct and infectious, shooting a small current of electricity through Lil. His merriment brought out her smile and lured her from her chair, through the living room, and into the office, like the pied piper’s flute.

By the time Lil made it to the office, Walt was sitting behind the computer.

“Sounded like a party in here.” Lil rested her forearms on the check-in counter.

“Just recalling old times.” Walt waved a dismissive hand through the air. “You know, the you-had-to-be-there kind.”

She knew that kind of story too well. Clearing her throat, she turned to the breakfast area. Her stomach rumbled, reminding her she’d skipped breakfast. “Mind if I have something to eat before we get started on the laundry?”

“Help yourself. It wasn’t much today—fruit, instant oatmeal, and Danish.”

“Walt, that is a hearty breakfast and, for the most part, healthy.” Lil glanced out the plate glass window then did a double take. “Snow flurries?”

Walt stood. “Looks like it. Thought that wasn’t supposed to happen until later today. Good thing the kids are getting on the road this morning.”

“Everyone’s checking out? No one’s staying with Jeanie?”

Lil tore open a package of instant oatmeal, shook it into a Styrofoam bowl, and held the bowl under the hot water spigot on the coffeemaker.

Walt joined her by the short counter. He cut a square of Danish. “Her sister is staying with her. She’s retired and there’s enough room for her at Jeanie’s apartment.”

Lil stopped stirring her oatmeal and laid a hand to her chest. “That’s a relief. Sometimes it’s hardest afterward when everyone gets back to their routine yet the person in mourning has to struggle to find a new normal.”

“True.” Walt pulled two cups from the stack and filled them with coffee. He carried them to a table. “Could you bring my Danish? I don’t have enough hands.”

“No prob—” Lil spun around. Walt shouldn’t have any free hands. “Where is your walker?”

A sheepish look crept across Walt’s face. “It’s over by the computer.”

Lil pursed her lips as she carried their breakfast to the table.

“Don’t get in a snit, Lil. I’ve been using it on and off all morning.”

In a snit
. Lil marched toward the check-in desk area, her Crocs punishing the floor for Walt’s bad behavior. She had to stop letting her guard down and watch Walt more diligently.

“Have you forgotten that I’m your nurse?”
And love you and don’t want you to fall and get hurt
.

Lil’s thought caught her off balance. Her knees weakened and she wavered, wishing she had a walker to steady herself.

Since breakfast, Lil and Walt worked in silence. He’d conceded and started using the walker again, even though it prohibited him from being much help clearing the breakfast area.

The church ladies had cleaned and straightened all the rooms for the last time.

Lil, apparently lost in thought, worked at folding a fitted sheet.

Maybe he shouldn’t have told her what had happened in Vietnam, but he thought she needed to know. He wanted Lil to be a part of his life, all of his life—his past, present, and future. A grin tugged at the corner of Walt’s mouth as he contemplated a future with Lil.

“What do you say we leave this for later and go work on your quilt?” Walt tossed a washcloth down on the table.

Lil growled as the sheet corners refused to cooperate and make a smooth fold. “Who invented these things?” Then she laughed. “But it is easier to make the bed with them. Guess we have to take the good with the bad.”

“That’s right, Lil, we do.” Walt moved closer to her, hoping she heard the double meaning in his words. His arms ached to hold her close, feel her warmth, inhale the flowery fragrance that haloed her.

Still struggling with the sheet, Lil never looked up. “As soon as I wrestle this one into submission, I’ll be right there.”

Disappointment lassoed Walt’s heart, tugging it lower in his chest. Dismissed. That’s what she’d done, dismissed him. Had he read everything wrong? The way she responded to his kiss and his embrace?

Walt walked to the kitchen, his only companion the rickety noise from the walker. Without Lil to watch over his every movement, he left the walker by the table and assembled the ironing board.

“What are you doing?”

Walt jumped as Lil’s voice boomed through the kitchen.

Heart racing, he turned toward the door. “Look, Lil, in a couple of days, I go back to the doctor. What’s the big deal?”

“The big deal is that it’s my job to follow the doctor’s orders, and his notes said two more weeks of using the walker.”

She closed the small gap between them. Using her few inches of height difference, she placed her hands on her hips in an apparent attempt to be intimidating. “And you had the nerve to call
me
exasperating?”

Annoyance flashed through her green eyes and puckered her mouth. She’d never looked more beautiful to Walt. He pushed his arms through the open space her arms created and pulled her to him. Her startled gasp lowered her chin just enough that Walt’s lips found hers.

She tasted of coffee and Danish and love.

Lil pushed her hands against his chest but he didn’t stop. Instead he drew her closer, deepening his kiss.

A soft moan vibrated from Lil, humming through the kiss, as her hands slid up until she wrapped her arms around his neck. Walt’s insides trembled. In Lil’s arms he felt eighteen again, young and carefree.

He ended the kiss but held her tight. “Oh Lil,” he said, his love-rasped voice barely audible. Never had his feelings been this strong, not even with Nancy. Maybe it was because he and Lil shared the same outlook on life. He knew she’d never turn on him.

She nodded her head, her soft curls silky on his cheek, letting him know her heart agreed with his.

He cleared his throat and loosened his grip. He wanted to look into those vivacious green eyes when he declared his love. It seemed too soon after only four weeks, but life changed quickly and love didn’t knock on your door every day.

Cupping Lil’s flushed cheeks in his hands, he drank in the emotion pouring from her eyes. It fortified his determination. Her plump lips parted as her eyes roamed his face, like she might be thinking the same thing—
It’s love
.

He put a finger to her warm lips. Call it manly pride, but he wanted to say it first.

“Lil.”

“Don’t say it.” Mist formed over her eyes, dimming her love. She’d slightly pulled her head away, giving it small shakes.

“Why not?” This really wasn’t going as he’d planned. But why did that surprise him? Lil wasn’t like other women, something he’d started thanking God for daily. The thought broadened his grin.

She closed her eyes, drawing her brows together, her years of living emphasized by the lines on her forehead. “Because…” She stopped pursing her lips and opened her eyes. “I don’t deserve it, Walt. I don’t deserve your love.”

Walt’s smile widened. “Well, I think you do. I love you, Lil.”

Her bottom lip trembled.

“You don’t have to say it back,” he whispered. “Although I’d love to hear it from your lips, your eyes and kiss tell me everything I need to know. You can tell me when you’re ready. I can wait.”

His words didn’t soothe or remove the tortured look from her features. He guessed her heart had been broken once. Her distant looks, the secret she couldn’t share, how she found it difficult to voice her feelings—that all added up to a broken heart.

“Walt, I want to tell you something.”

A crack of thunder shook the house, rattling the windows. A chorus of pings hit the roof and windows.

“Is that hail?” Lil’s voice was back and in full volume.

“Worse.” Walt released Lil and walked to the window.

Lil joined him. “I’m glad the folks got on the road when they did.”

“Me, too. With these temperatures, this is not good.”

Walt moved to the living room window, Lil trailing behind. A thin sheen already glistened on the blacktop in front of the hotel.

Walt stated the obvious. “Ice storm.”

“Maybe it won’t last long.”

The ice storm lasted thirty-six hours. The governor declared an emergency and closed all the South Dakota interstate exits north and south between the Iowa and North Dakota borders and east and west from Minnesota to central South Dakota.

“What a mess.” Lil cracked the door and squeezed through the narrow space, but frigid air seeped into Walt’s kitchen anyway.

Walt paced back and forth like a mountain lion on the prowl. “You shouldn’t be out in that mess. I should.”

“Well, you can’t.” Lil stomped her boots on the rug, then held the heel of one boot with the toe of the other so she could slide her foot out. She repeated the process with the second boot, soaking the toe of her heavy woolen sock.

A two-inch layer of ice covered the ground. After the first hour of the storm, Lil started the vigil of keeping her camper door free of ice. Thanks to Walt’s buying ice melt in bulk, she’d managed to keep his sidewalk and a narrow path to her camper a melted slushy mess by reapplying the solvent about every two hours, but at least it provided some traction.

When Walt paced close to her, he gently pulled an icicle from her curls that escaped the cover of her coat hood. “You shouldn’t have to do this.”

Lil pushed the hood of her parka back and slipped out of her coat, hanging it over the back of a kitchen chair to dry. She finger combed her curls. “Don’t you think I know you’d help me if you could?”

“Yes,” Walt conceded before returning to the other end of his pacing track, stopping to look out of windows frosted with ice, obscuring an outside view. He looped his thumbs around the straps of his light blue pin-striped overalls that topped a thermal long-underwear shirt.

“Do you still have electricity out there? I have trouble with that box and thought for sure it’d act up during the storm.”

“It’s working. My furnace is keeping it nice and toasty, which will help the door not to freeze shut.”