Children of the Source (7 page)

     “This Entity or Soul isn’t interested in your version of good and evil, justice or anything else.
  It creates from within.  She asks what are you willing to participate in?  When you pray, though you may think so, it is not to an all powerful God outside yourself governing the world and Universe.  There is no Sunday School type God.  The so-called God prayed to is always within.  You are praying to this Greater Self, Soul or Entity within who created you. 

     “There are tools you can use to short circuit a problem or challenge offered you.
  The main one is realizing you are an independent personality who can say No to these probable events that could be realized in full.  Few know of this.  Also, another one is the time lapse between the belief and its creation into a physical  experience.  This depends on the intensity of the belief.  The more intense the belief the shorter the time span.  Change the belief and short-circuit the event.  Beliefs operate like an electric circuit.  They travel through time, and gather power according to how they are fed by the person.  How many people participate in a disease or experience instead of saying no?  There are medical, scientific, social, political, religious, military, educational and economic infrastructures you can get lost in if you aren’t careful.  Don’t feed what you don’t want.  We know that here, and that is why things work.”

    I took a sip of catnip tea and ate an oatmeal cookie.
  “There is an order of Beings some call Souls or Entities that incarnate and reincarnate in human bodies to learn from the experiences available to them.  They know full well they are eternal.  They craft the bodies and personalities they use.  Levels of intelligence, abilities, disabilities, appetites and inclinations, social and other opportunities, sex, body types, race, culture, nationality, and those they are incarnated with are part of this creation process.  We are these personalities.”

    “We know the basics of these creatu
res that create us, just not the particulars,”  Jana said. 

    “They program their personalities the way computer programs are
programmed.  These personalities are independent individuals with free will, but have certain constraints built-in, often not happy ones.  Considering history and human experience one wonders at this creation process.  These Beings aren’t interested in our versions of right or wrong, quality of life, or justice.  They are interested in learning from experiences they create.  They feed on the contrast and extremes available to them.  When they figure they’ve learned as much as they can from a lifetime, they end it. 

    “It doesn’t seem to matter what the personality wants.
  I had two close friends who died, and through dreams said they were very angry at having died.  That I need to understand.  What is the relationship between the soul and the personality?  The two are one in a way and separate in another.  I’ve heard it’s rather like an adult directing its many children.  Not comforting for the child.”  I took another sip of tea.  “Guess what I’m saying, you have to go with the cards you’re dealt, and use them the best you can.”

    “Sounds pretty cold-blooded,” Greg said.

    “Yep.  If you use our versions of morality, justice, and eternity.”  I scratched an itch on my arm.  Bugs.  “Lot of things I don’t understand.  But you have to go with the creation process, and that is we get what we believe.  We’ve used it successfully for all the years we’ve been at Cheshire.  You are responsible for your own happiness.  We know that here.”

   “What is the third thing?”
  Joanna asked.

   “Free will.
  It is something even these Souls who created us can’t control.  It makes all the difference.”

    We buried the physical body of Chuck O’Banion just as the sun set.  Meg stayed away with Judith.  I tried to think of the words.  I never use formal prayer or ritual.  Too often they come across as empty.  Wasted.  The officiate more or less gloss over the person, trying to use the person as a pawn for a religious message that has no real validity.  I spoke my words haltingly.

    “We live in times when a decent man can be hung for the extremes he’s been driven to just to remain alive and protect his own.
  Chuck is a good man and will go on to better things.  We do not place his body in this hole with grief, but in the realization that he goes on.”  I looked around.  “Anyone have anything they want to say?”  Fifty people stood or sat silently.

    I turned to face where I knew and could see Chuck and Ruth O’Banion at the head of the hole.
  They looked younger and more at peace out of their physical bodies.  I spoke to them directly.  “Ruth and Chuck O’Banion, you ran a hard course, and did it well.  You kept your covenant with yourselves and others.  You violated no man intentionally except in defense of yourselves and each other.  You slaughtered no animals in blood sport or self-definition, but only took what you needed for food.  You feel good within yourselves, and so you know the feelings of the Creator Within.

    “Now, your daughter cries the tears of misunderstanding at your leaving, and needs the knowledge you live and care for her still.
  I would ask and invite you on her behalf to speak through a medium tonight to reassure her you still live.”

    I saw them nod their heads in agreement.
  Several of us took shovels and began to fill the hole.

    “They’ve left,”
  Helen Roseman said.  She stood with Laith.  They’d announced their plans to marry in late July or early August.  Of the same age, they had taken to each other immediately.

    “You feel up to acting as one of the mediums, Helen?”

    “Sure, Jamie,”  she said, and then smiled mischievously.  “Or maybe I should say Dad.”

    I chuckled.
  “Soon. Soon.”  Laith smiled.

    Mike Roseman laughed.
  “Soon enough,” he agreed.  We finished the task and headed for the Dining Hall.  The people broke to go their separate ways.

   About forty people showed up for the trance meeting.
  Helen Roseman and Rosa Gutierrez stood talking with Judith and me by the two large armchairs.  The distant sound of flute, guitar, and violin floated to us in the evening twilight.  Rosa stood small, almost tiny, her face shaped for all the world like that of an energetic elf.  She had this touch of innocence, didn’t understand airs, fakery, and pretend roles. 

    “I found something out today, Jamie,” she said with a secretive smile.

    “Oh?”  I said, suddenly alert.  She really enjoyed her abilities, and revered them.  Abuse of her talent never occurred to her.

    “What’s that, Rosa?”

    “The only thing I’m going to say is you’re going to have visitors soon, very soon.”  She smiled at Judith mysteriously, and patted her shoulder.

    Judith and I exchanged glances.
  “Really,” I said, eying her with mock severity.  Then I started to search my mind.

    “Won’t work,” Rosa said.
  She was right.  I found nothing.  I rolled my eyes and grimaced.  Rosa laughed.

    Laith entered with Meg, and they threaded their way between people to us.
  Meg looked surprisingly serene.  “Ready?”  Laith asked.

    I nodded and turned to the milling people.
  “Let’s get started.”  Rosa and Helen sat down in the opposing armchairs as the crowd took their seats and quieted down, and began to relax.  Laith took a chair next to Helen.  He was conducting.  Meg sat with him.

     After a minute Helen’s eyes began to flutter.  She straightened up.
  “Greetings.”  It was a warm masculine voice.  Familiar.

     “Jason.
  How are you today?”

    “Mighty fine, my man.”

    “Good.  We have a young lady here, sitting beside me, who needs to speak with her parents.”

    “We are familiar with the situation.
  The mother, Ruth, is more stable, but both should be able to come through and communicate.  The personalities of Ruth and Chuck as you know them will take over and use the instrument of Rosa, with her permission.”

    Rosa began to shift in her seat.
  Laith turned to Meg and said, “Your mother will speak first.  Listen.  Don’t be afraid.  Remember what I said about it being like a couple of people speaking on the telephone.”

    “Like the ones you showed me.
  That’s real funny speaking in one place and someone hearing it in another.”

    “It is, isn’t it?
  I’ve only seen them a couple of times, too,”  Laith said.

    “They don’t work anymore,” she said.

    “No, but this does,”  Laith replied.

    “Meg. Meg, darling.”
  Meg looked at Rosa who sat staring at her.  But the face softened, and the voice and eyes belonged to someone else.

    “Ma. Mama,” Meg opened her mouth to scream and ran to Rosa.
  Laith caught her and led her trembling to the medium.

    “Carefully, Meg,” Laith whispered.
  “It’s like a bubble.  Very delicate.  Be gentle, but don’t touch.  Talk to your mother, Meg.”

    She wiped her eyes and nose, and looked at Rosa.
  “Mama?”

    “Meg. It’s Mama.
  You remember Tinker.  She’s here with us.”

    Meg’s face lit up.
  “Wanda there, too?”

    “Yes, Meg, but younger.
  We can do that here.”

    “And Daddy?” she breathed, eyes bright, barely believing her ears.

    “He’ll speak in a moment.  First, I want to have you look in your dreams for us.  We will be there in some of them and we can visit.  Do you understand?”

    “Yes, Mama.
  Like you came a couple of times.”

    “Now, your father will be with me too.”

    Rosa’s face changed, and Meg looked up a Laith who pointed back at Rosa.  “Watch.”  The faces changed again becoming craggy, almost hard, and the eyes fluttered and opened.

    “Meg?” the voice deepened.

    “Daddy?”

    “Yes, Love.”
  The voice held a tired strain.  “You need to know I live, and my grave - I’m not there.  Your mother and I are together, and no one can hurt us here.  Uncle Max is here.  I can’t stay long.”  His voice faltered and picked up.  “I’m very tired, and thank you to those who lend me your energy for this evening.  My darling Meg, know I live.”  The eyes held hers strongly for a long moment, then the face softened, and the eyes closed. 

    Meg’s face shown with wonder.
  Then with a high squeal of joy she hurled herself into Laith’s arms.  I chuckled.  Some people clapped, one whistled, others laughed.

    The noise settled down, and everyone faced the mediums, and Laith expectantly.

     “Hello,” Helen said, the voice held a prim French accent, definitely feminine.

    “Marie,” Laith acknowledged with a slight bow.

    “Ah, my handsome.”

    Laith blushed.
  “In a serious vein, Madam, the people are curious about the aliens and the alien spacecraft.”

    Marie spoke, “Your world moves through rhythms as each of you do individually.
  You call these cycles for they do indeed repeat themselves.  The longest cycle you have knowledge of is the Great Year of approximately twenty-six thousand years.  But there are greater ones you have no knowledge of.  Your position within these cycles has reached a point where the greatest potentials of the system are available to you.

    “The aliens, as you call them, were once part of your planet having come from another star system.
  They left Earth long ago and entered a more advanced system.  This system moved into the period you are now entering where they left the tired problems of greed, fear, doubt, envy, and hate.  Now they come home, so to speak, to help you.

    “To further help you as a physical focus, new teachers, the most developed to date in your system, live now among you in your world.
  These entities will operate as a focus for these potentials - of what is possible for each individual.  The last few years you’ve noticed the stirrings of new abilities and old memories within you.  These will build and grow, and indeed, open avenues within you never knew existed.  Jamie can answer your questions.”  Helen fell silent.

    “When will these teachers appear?”
  someone asked.

   “I don’t know,” I said, and I didn’t.
  Not with the information I needed to be completely sure.

   “Are you one of these teachers?”
  Krystal Clayton asked.

   “Nope, sure not.
  Just a generic wizard,”  I said.  “No.  These teachers are way up there in development.  They have some sort of special relationship with the Earth.  That’s all I know about them.”

    “Anything else?”

    “When they’ re ready, they will make themselves known.   

    “Here?”
  Krystal asked.

    “Here,” I said.
  That much I knew. 

4

            We went to bed pretty quick, and sometime during the night I began to dream.  In the dream I found myself in a long stone corridor with many doors.  Doors of different lives my Entity or Soul had had.  Some doors I stood before I trembled and could not, would not open.  I sensed a horror that I’d done or had been done to me.  The essence of each reverberated from within.  Things I would not do again.  Stamped on my heart in ways making it next to impossible to do.  Places I’d avoid at all costs.  Essence memory.  More real and seared into my Being than any body part.  Each door I did enter I was someone else though I was the same Being, and each time I ended up in front of a clearing before a cave at the base of a mountain.  The dream kept repeating itself over and over, always ending before the cave.  Finally I woke and the sun shone through the bedroom window.  I rolled over and saw Judith looking at me.

    “You had a busy night,” she said.

    “What?”

    “You tossed and turned all night, mumbling to yourself.”

    “Hell of’ va dream,” I said, and explained it.

    “Maybe it’ll turn into a serial dream.”

    “Parts of it, maybe.  Some doors I’d never open.  Now I know why I’ve always wanted to avoid going to Mexico.  After all I’ve experienced, there seems to be more to these Entities or Souls of which we are a part.  They seem endless in what they are and can do.  And they are part of other larger Souls or Entities and so on.  I don’t know if there is an end to it.”

 
   Laith was sitting with a mug of tea and a piece of toast smeared with butter and honey.  He studied me and smiled an old smile.  “You’ve been through the ringer, Dad.  These Beasties we’re a part of like to rub their noses in every part of experience available to them.”  He smiled, lighting up the room.  “But look at yourself, the end result of what has been learned.”

    I had to smile, he had that effect on me. “I understand.
  I was just thinking of those poor personalities that got dumped on, smeared into the ground.   What is their compensation after physical death?”

    Laith sighed.
  “I can’t answer that.  But you know from your experiences that all physical problems are removed; the blind see, the deaf hear, the retarded have the veil lifted.  It may be the personalities grow to full awareness.  I just don’t know.  But I had a dream, too.”

    Judith brought three steaming mugs of tea to our dining table setting one down in front of me and giving one to our son.
  Laith pushed a pot of honey toward us.  “So tell us,” she said as she sat down next to me.

   “It was this man who,” he hesitated.
  “But time had no meaning.  It was like eons took a lifetime and it was normal.  He followed me.  No. That’s not the right word.  He was always there, making a way, so to speak.”  He stopped, looking at us.  “There always seemed a distance between us I could never make up, but he was always tied irrevocably to me.”  Laith shook his head.  “Making any sense?”

   “Un hum.
  The man is your grandfather Charles,” I said.  “I don’t know enough of his history to give you an answer, but when you see him next it’ll be time for him to answer your questions.  It’s rather like a puzzle you’re putting together.  Some parts take longer than others to come into your experience.”

   He looked surprised and took Judith’s hands in his.
  “Good lady, wisest of women, I’m not blind to my abilities.  Where is it supposed to go?” 

   Judith said, “Tell us, Laith, when did you first realize you voluntarily healed someone instead it seeming like an accident?”

   “Remember the squirrel Wicca brought in?  We’ll, I wished the torn parts healed, and everything began to knit.  The wound closed.  The skin closed so there was no scar. I felt this tremendous energy and molding.  You two came up and watched the last of the wound close.  That was the first time.”

   Judith caught my eyes.
  We remembered.  One of the most remarkable experiences we’d seen.  I was new to psychic surgery then, and only been doing it about a year when we stood watching dumbfounded as the wound closed.  We could feel this physical energy swirling.

    I wondered what to say as I blew on my steaming tea.
  Then I knew.  “Sounds strange, but watch for a butterfly on the horn of a goat.  Then you will get some of your answers.”   I took a sip of tea.  “I wish I had more I could tell you.  Your search within for answers seems to be taking a frustrating forever.  I know from my own experience.  But the unfolding is done with impeccable care.  And that may be the hardest thing of all - trusting that unfolding.”

    Abe, Victoria, and Meg stood waiting quietly by the door as Helen walked in.
  Laith looked up and said, “I couldn’t have a better family.”

    The three youngest children raced ahead toward the Dining Hall, and then turned and shouted to Lai
th and Helen,  “Beat you to the chow hall.”  Laith and Helen took off running.  He ran like a great cat and Helen like a gazelle. 

    Judith and I rounded the corner of North Roberta on to West Wilson.
  “How do you think he’ll change when he realizes his identity?”  Judith asked.

    “Not a great deal.
  Your essence is the same, but you’re more than you were five, ten, fifteen years ago.  That is the unfolding I’m talking about.  Having more of your essence available.  It comes as you need and can use it.  We all do that.  My heart says not to worry, but,” I shrugged, “this is all an unknown.  I have no knowledge of how this will play out.  I do know there will be no violent drama as in the Christian religion.  I know that he and Helen will have children.”

     We stopped and looked over the fields toward the highway.
  Nothing of the community built beyond the Rio de Flag to Fort Valley Road still existed.  The houses had burned in the volcanic fires.  We bulldozed the foundations and ripped up the streets,  pushing the rubble to our perimeter.  During the eruptions, people left so fast that heavy equipment and fuel supplies stood abandoned and in perfect condition.  We, as a small group, used what we needed after the area was officially abandoned, and returned them when we were done.  They never moved again, and stood rusty empty hulks even now.

    Judith looked out over the Peaks. “I’m his mother, with a mother’s concern for her son.”

    “He couldn’t do better than Helen for a wife and a partner.”

    She blew out a frustrated breath.
  “It’s not that.  I just don’t want a damned religious circus wrecking their lives.  And ours.”

    “I know.
  This is bigger than a local religious drama.  It’s global in nature.  Hopefully the histrionics of the past will not be visited on the present.”  We watched the spacecraft circle lazily over the Peaks. 

    “You led them from this planet once.”

    “Once. Now they return.”   The memory flooded:

    “You’re a traitor and a coward.”  The rage in the giant poured over me.

    “And you’re a fool allowing hate to control you.
  All the powers we possess even to ruling the nature of energy with our voice, and you won’t control the consuming desire to destroy,” I said, shaking my head.

    “You should be killed.”
  Huge hands bunched into great fists.

    “But you know better than to even try.
  Your own brother.  And you’d do it if you could get away with it.  What does that say about you?”

    He smiled, eyes cold as death.
  “It says you have betrayed the Head of your own House.  The worst thing you could do.  And running away.”  He spat on the ground between us.

    “I’m not going to be party to murder.
  I will take my people and go build a future elsewhere.”  I pointed to the three large wedge shaped spacecraft circling high above. 

    “Running away.
  You’ve subverted good people into peace loving cowards.  Not willing to do what is right and necessary.”  Scorn in every motion and word.

    “You’re willing to take a whole people into the trackless wastes of hate just to control another person.
  Mator will not be caught napping.  He and his are a match for you and yours.  He only wants to be left alone.  You’re a fool, and I wish you ruin.”  I caught the sound erupting from his throat in time, and countered it with a shield sound of my own.  The sounds crashed into one another and died.  To kill your own brother.

    I felt Judith tap my shoulder, pulling me back..  “Where have you been?”

   “Visiting with an old version of your Daddy.”

    “Good experience?”

    I gave a low laugh.
  “Noo. He tried to kill me.  We were brothers then. He the Head of the House.  I was the little brother who took them away from the coming carnage.”  I pointed to the alien spacecraft.  “He’s not someone you wanted to know back then.  That may be why though I’ve always had a real affection for Charles, I’ve also wanted a wee distance from the man.”  We hugged each other.  “We’re legends to them, but more too.  Some ways we acted as mother-father figures.  But this diminishes too for those we traveled with traveled again.”

    “Be good to see them again,” Judith said.

    “Yeah.  Sure will.”  We headed for the Dining Hall and our waiting children.  Looking at each other we knew we could have spoken of this years ago - the knowledge, the relationships, the experiences - indeed the essence, lived within us.  We knew and drew from this - for the future.  The memories stirred within our people.

    After breakfast we started to go our separate ways.
  Abe went trotting off to learn blacksmithing.  Victoria stayed to help in the kitchen.  Helen, Laith, and Judith started off to a group we called the Dream Makers.  Bob Clayton burst into the Dining Hall.  “Come quick!  Come quick!  You’re not going to believe this.”

    We piled outside, and there in the bright morning sunshine stood Charles and Mary Bareton - a little older, but smiling beside their backpacks.

    Judith let out a whoop and grabbed them both.  By the time all the hugging and greeting eased we’d learned they were back for good and I knew what Rosa had been so mysterious about.  Charles fingered a two weeks growth of beard, and grinned, “Got a razor, son Jamie?”   He beckoned me off to one side.

   “Yep, think I do.
  We have some things to speak of.”

    “We came in time.”
  He nodded to the spacecraft.  “The final act begins, that’s where you and Judith come in.  Some things you both must finish and begin.  You and Judith lead them.”  He paused,  “We have come home.  Not to be noticed or to lead, but just to
be
.  There is one final thing I must do for the Teachers.”

    “Teachers?”

    “You thought there was only one?”  He shook his big grey head.

    “Who is the other one?”

    “Who is he going to marry?”  He nodded.  “The most natural partner possible.”

    Mary looked around at the milling people. “But we’ve interrupted a meeting.”

     Laith was off a short distance talking to Dean Jackson.  Helen walked over.  She said, “We need to find another spring for the community.”  We went inside one of the meetinghouses.  Charles and Mary joined us. 

    Helen faced the twenty-five people and said, “Has anyone found the new spring we need?”
  Heads shook.  “There has to be a way.”  Helen looked over at Mark Lancaster, who seemed to shrink under her gaze.  She laughed.  “Easy, my friend.  You’re our resident geologist, and have out of the body abilities.  How about trying to go underground and see what you can find?”

    Mark scowled.
  Though he was very good, he didn’t trust his abilities.

    “I’ll help you.”
  Everyone turned to look.  Charles Bareton’s weathered face looked casually back.  “Mark, remember when a little old man showed you the reindeer, and steadied your focus until you made it into the house?”

    Color drained from Mark’s face.
  “That was the most vivid dream of my life.  I knew I was awake and out of my body.  It was incredible.”

    Charles studied him.
  “At the time you were sick and worried you had cancer.  The problem centered around beliefs you wouldn’t be successful.  The illness left when you found new sources within to help you understand your unlimited nature.”  He chuckled, weathered face creased with amusement. “You sure picked a cold snowy setting and gave it your all.”

     “Will you give it a go, Mark?”
  Helen asked gently.

    He looked at Charles and said in a husky voice. “Okay, we’ll see what we can do.”

    “Good.  Thank you.”  She turned to the rest of the group.  “Anything else?”  Nobody had anything else  to say.  We broke up after that.

     Walking to the house, Charles had a faraway look, then he shook his head.
  “Just checking Skyhaven,” he said casually.