Bind Me Before You Go (Entangled Brazen) (Serve) (5 page)

“It meant something to me, you telling me what you want,” he continued. “I know that’s not easy for you.”

She swallowed and licked her lips. “No, it isn’t.”

He nodded. “Then let’s agree to an arrangement that works for both of us. Give me two weeks.”

“Two weeks?”

“Two weeks of the best sex of your life. Two weeks to help you discover that letting go of your inhibitions is a way to share yourself and your power, not blindly give it up.”

“Why two weeks? That just short enough for neither of us to get attached?”

He shrugged. “It’s also when I leave for my next assignment. That’s all the time I can offer. Whatever happens between us has to be temporary.”

She nodded and looked away from him. “I swore to myself I would look for the real thing when I moved here.”

“Cass. Just because this isn’t permanent doesn’t mean it’s not real.”

His face grew solemn, as if he was carrying a burden greater than himself. That’s when she recognized that underneath all his smoldering sexuality resided a sadness he must rarely allow others to see.

“You’re an amazing woman who deserves to get everything she wants. I can’t give you true love or forever, that’s for sure. But I’m offering more than a casual hookup. For me to get off, I need to be able to know I’m fulfilling your deepest fantasies. That you trust me completely. The relationship is still only a sexual one, but I can promise you more than the flings you may have had before.”

She nodded. “And do you, well…do you have others you play with?”

“No. What we have might be temporary, but for as long as it lasts, it’s exclusive.” His expression softened, and there was a hint of a smile curling at the corners of his luscious mouth. “Think of our time together as a bridge between your old self and the new.” He took her hand into his. “How does that sound?”

She swallowed. It sounded…

Crazy? Exciting? Perfect? Terrifying?

Because what he was offering—the space in between sex and love—felt like a murky place, a slippery slope where she could too easily lose her footing and fall, ending up with something worse than a broken heart. A broken spirit.

He stood up and retrieved a business card from his wallet. He placed it in her hand. “Think about what I proposed. And then call me when you’re ready.”

Chapter Four

Not to sound like an arrogant prick, but David couldn’t even remember the last time he’d given out his card to a woman and she hadn’t called him. At first, he thought she was just playing it old school, making him wait a few days. By the end of the week? He realized the only game she was playing was hide-and-seek, with her doing too fine a job of hiding from him.

If he’d thought she was truly disinterested, he would let it go. But his instincts told him she was not only hiding from him, but also from herself and what she truly wanted.

So he was done waiting. He knew where she lived from when he’d taken her home. He’d go there today and put the decision to her. Did she want to move ahead with this? Then she needed to tell him. It would be a bold move given how hesitant she was to admit what she wanted, but the control would be all hers.

He reached the Upper West Side in record time, but as he parked his motorcycle in front of Cassidy’s building, his phone buzzed in his pocket.

“Hey Ma, how’s it going?”

“
Io vivo con una maledizione sopra la mia testa, mio figlio
.”

He blew out an exasperated sigh. His Italian-born mother was stereotypical in a lot of ways: beautiful, passionate, quick to anger and quick to forgive. A woman who believed family was everything and that family could take care of their own. Her starting off the conversation by lamenting how curses hung over her head wasn’t a good sign, whether you were superstitious or not.

“What’s wrong, Ma?”

“It’s nothing new. The same old thing, just another day.”

He knew that was a crock. His mother didn’t call him unless something had happened. But he knew, even amongst the family, she had a lot of pride and didn’t like to share anything ugly. He both admired that quality and hated it, because it meant he had to spend that much extra time excavating the truth out of her.

“Ma, I don’t have time to drag this out of you. Just tell me what it is so I can fix it.”

There was silence on the other end, but he waited. He knew her well enough to know she wasn’t being quiet to be cagey. She was working up the nerve to tell him what had happened.

“Your brother is gambling again. Ten thousand is missing out of our account.”

Fire blistered the nerves under his skin. That was how hot and fast his anger rose through him. If his brother wasn’t into gambling, it was drugs. If it wasn’t drugs, it was going missing for days, usually to be found beaten bloody in an alley or with some crack-addicted prostitute.

But David knew his mother didn’t need his anger. She was more on the front lines than he was, and he sure felt in the thick of battle, so he summoned every bit of patience he had in him for her.

“Now, Ma, how did he get ahold of the money in the first place?”

“
Non è importante
.”

“It is important. Tell me.”

“I gave him my debit card.” She must have sensed his irritation through the line, in spite of him not making a sound, because she said the rest in a mad rush, as though if she spoke at a high enough speed, she could win a race against the rise of her son’s temper. “He said he was going to buy a new suit for a job interview he had. He wanted to look his best, and the suit he had wasn’t right.”

In a voice even he recognized was so calm and low it was eerie, David answered, “And you fell for that?” He hated himself for snapping at her. He knew as much as she did how hard it was to take care of his brother. Where did they draw the line? Did they take away all of his freedom? But the words were out before he could take them back. “Bad enough what we all have to live with, but you letting him pull shit like this makes things harder on all of us.”

“
Mi dispiace per i soldi
.”

“The money is the least of what I gotta worry about now. Is he still out there? Or is he home?”

“He’s home. He’s resting now.”

At least that was one less thing he had to worry about. David couldn’t recall how many days and nights he’d spent looking for him, in some of the worst pits in the five boroughs. He’d been doing it since he was fifteen, and he’d learned early how to track someone without being seen, how to cultivate informants, information of any kind.

It had set the stage for what he would eventually make his life’s work, but he would have gladly traded it all in for a shot at normal. Too bad that he’d since learned “normal” wasn’t really in the cards for him. Happiness. Love. Commitment. It wasn’t that he didn’t want those things, but it was pretty clear that those things weren’t meant for a man like him, who came from such a fucked-up bloodline.

It never failed when someone got close to him, when they discovered the truth about his family, they all bailed. Even Marla. He’d gotten used to it. At least that was the story he told himself.

The good news was that no matter how badly his brother screwed up, replacing the money really wasn’t a big deal. No one liked losing money, but he was very well compensated for his services, and so was his team.

“Listen, I’ve got to go. Do what I said and go to the bank. Call me when that’s done.”

“Okay,
mi figlio
. I love you.”

“Yeah, Ma. I love you too.”

He hung up, let out a long breath, and looked at the floor Cassidy lived on. He needed her mouth on his. One deep kiss to drown his frustration in her need.

God help him if she turned him away.

…

Cassidy had been surprised to find Allie home at all when she’d come home from work, because ever since Allie and Leo had spent that one night together, Allie had spent each night going out with her friends.

But Allie had an explanation—and a glass of wine—ready for her.

“It was
too
good, Cass, if you can believe it,” she said. “It was like this instant connection. So I need some distance from the guy. I have to keep reminding myself it was just sex. Crazy, amazing sex. But still…”

“You don’t have to explain to me,” Cassidy said.

“I knew you’d understand,” Allie said. “Don’t wait up for me. Me and the girls are going to a new club tonight.”

She sat down and sipped on her wine as Allie got together the rest of her things. She ought to ask her friend about this new club, but all she could think about was David.

For the umpteenth time that day, she took out the card he had given her. The cardstock was thick and substantial, with raised calligraphy that said
Cavill Security Group
. She’d handled it so much that the edges were curled inward, almost as though if she didn’t call the number printed on there soon, it would fold into itself and disappear. The opportunity for something and someone different? Gone. It made the space in the center of her chest feel heavy, and she let out a breath to try to lighten the load.

The phone rang just then—and it was the customized ring assigned to the doorman downstairs. Allie ran back into the living room and grabbed the phone.

“Hello? And a good evening to
you
, Deacon… Who?” Her eyes widened and then slid off to the side where Cassidy was. “Yes, that’s fine. Send him up.” She placed the phone back on the cradle. “Cassidy? Ca-Sa-DEE?”

“
What
?”

“Do me a favor and get the door when it rings. Deacon said we’ve got a delivery coming.”

Cassidy’s eyebrows shot up. “Did we order something?”

She beamed back. “In a manner of speaking.”

“What does
that
mean?”

Allie smirked and waved her off. “You know me. I take my Ambien to sleep, then order shit online and forget about it the next day.”

There was a staccato knock at the door. Cassidy expected Allie to go for the door with the same gusto with which she’d gone for the phone, but Allie crossed her arms and held back.

“Okay…” Cassidy said.

She made her way to the door, and just as she was about to turn the knob, Allie called out, “You can thank me later, by the way!”

Cassidy had a very funny suspicion about where this was going.

She opened the door—

“Holy shit,” whispered Cassidy.

As if conjured from thin air, David stood in front of her, his burnished gaze singeing her skin. He glanced down and smirked when he saw his business card in her hand.

“Glad to see you still have it,” he said.

“What are you doing here?”

“Don’t listen to her,” Allie bellowed while gesturing like the goddamn grand marshal at a parade. “Our home is your home. Okay, you two, I’ll see you later. Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do.”

As soon as Allie was outside and the door closed behind her, David moved.

He came to Cassidy and surrounded her small frame in his arms. And, without thinking, she wrapped herself around his rock solid middle as well. His body vibrated against hers.

I am so totally screwed.

“Seven days, Cassidy.”

She blinked a couple of times but didn’t respond.

“I’ve never had to wait seven days.”

“What are you talking about?” she balked, still in shock that the man she’d been pondering was suddenly there, surrounding her with his spicy, masculine scent that made her head swoon more than the wine.

He regarded her for a moment before answering. “It’s been seven days since I gave you that card. I can only wait so long. So here I am.”

He could only wait so long? What did that mean? What if she needed a week? Or two weeks?

“Well, maybe
I
wasn’t planning on calling
you
. Did you ever consider
that
?”

His eyes cast an amused glimmer her way. “So why is my card in your hand right now? If you weren’t planning on calling, you’d have tossed it.” He mimicked her wide stance and crossed his arms across his expansive chest.

She rolled her eyes
“
Maybe I’m old fashioned.
Maybe
I want the man to call
me
. Did you ever think of
that
?”

“Yeah, I did, so here I am,” he said, dropping his warrior stance and coming closer to her. In a low and sexy voice, he whispered, “I waited for you to make the next move after I met you at the club last week. That was my first mistake, one I’m sure as fuck not gonna make again. I decided to give you a week, longer than I wanted to, but it’s what I thought you should have, considering what I’m asking from you. But guess what, honey. Time’s up. I’m done waiting. My assignment got delayed, so I want my two weeks and I want them to start tonight. If that’s not what you want, you need to let me know now and I’ll go.”

She took in all that was him, his deep green eyes, molten and charged for her. But his good looks and sex appeal weren’t what made him dangerous. It was how lightning fast he was able to read her, his effortless ability to get inside her head and under her skin.

His expression softened, with his gentle smile and kind eyes. He appeared almost…vulnerable to her. Like he might have as much at stake as she did. Could that be? Or was she making shit up in her head to make this kind of arrangement okay with her?

“If you don’t want me… If you don’t want this”—he gestured with his pointed finger back and forth between them—“then just say the word and I’m gone. I won’t come for you again.” He took another step closer, his gaze burning into hers. “But I’m really hoping you do want me here.” He placed his hands on his hips and blew out a breath, as if he was trying to keep it together.

She’d always assumed that a connection with another person only came with love and romance, but maybe a sexual connection was its own kind of intimacy. Hell, if her previous encounter with David was any indication, it would be a stronger, more powerful intimacy than anything she’d ever experienced.

And that’s what had prevented her from calling his number. Not the idea of being tied up or trying other forms of BDSM. No, that stuff was the easy part.

She was terrified of finally letting go with someone, of really letting him
in
, of her soul being stripped bare and vulnerable. Of actually being seen. He was all kinds of compelling to her, but she had to admit she was also afraid of not measuring up. She might have had a handful of lovers, but most had been clumsy-handed college boys. What could she offer a man like David Cavill?

So she knew she should turn her back on him and say thanks, but no thanks. But at that moment, she also recognized that he was worth taking this kind of risk for. That if she walked away, she’d deeply regret it for the rest of her life. This was her chance to discover a side of herself she’d never given a chance to breathe—to live—and to do so without the fear of having her heart broken.

Just remember,
a quiet voice inside her head said,
when it all falls apart, when you’re left in a puddle outside his doorstep, remember you had the chance to walk away but didn’t.

Besides moving to New York, going with David Cavill was the biggest calculated risk she’d ever taken. She just prayed it wouldn’t break her.

“Okay, David. I’m in. I’m
all
in.”