Bellissimo Rilascio (Beautiful Release): The Family Series #3 (14 page)

I hesitate. This hasn’t been a subject we’ve had to broach. “Bronson, I have something to tell you.”

“Shit. I can’t handle any more of your and my sister’s bullshit. She took off earlier, and Callie won’t tell me where. It better not be your place. I can’t go through another break-up.”

“She’s not here. I haven’t seen or spoken to her since your wedding. Are you worried?”

“Yes. I mean she is stronger. I almost see my sister in her again, but she scared the hell out of me. Nobody could reach her. Therapy seems to be helping.”

I groan. “Therapy? She doesn’t talk about what she’s feeling, so I’m betting it’s a big waste of money.”

He laughs. “I thought so too, but she seems to talk to him.”

“That’s good.”

“What’s going on?”

“I met a girl. Funny thing, she’s my neighbor.”

“Fuck. I don’t know how to feel. On one hand, I want you happy, but part of me always thought it’d be you and Binks, you know?”

“I do. I believed that with everything. That night, she did the leaving, but she asked me to let her go. I couldn’t then, but I think I have.”

“This is the most fucked-up conversation I’ve ever had. I don’t know what to say.”

“Want me to curb it? We don’t have to talk about it.”

“I don’t know. You’re my best friend, and maybe we all need to give up our fairytale. It was just second nature for so long. Me and Callie, you and Bianca. It just seems surreal that it isn’t the same.”

“You and Callie made it.”

“Damn straight we did. I don’t want to tell you that you can’t talk about your life with me, but I need to talk to Binks and see where her head is. I hope you understand if she’s still thinking there’s a future for y’all, I can’t be a part of this conversation.”

I sigh. “I know. I understand. Family first.”

“You’re family, too. I just saw too much these last months. Dakota.” He pauses to compose himself. “You didn’t see her. You didn’t hear her screams, her pleas for it to stop. She was out of her mind, but the most controlled I’d ever seen. She was on a mission to destroy herself, inflict pain on herself. I thought she was going to die that night, and I didn’t know if I’d ever get my sister back.”

“Sorry, man.”

“No, you don’t get it. I know you’re sorry, but it doesn’t erase what happened for either of you. You have to admit she took the brunt of it. I was brought to my knees that night in prayer and in fear. So while I say it’s natural for the four of us, I don’t think I want it to ever go back.”

“I get you. I don’t want that either.”

“So you’d reject her? Give up on her?” I hear the anger in his voice. It’s a crazy situation with no clear-cut answers.

“I think it’s a moot point. I was asked a similar question last night and didn’t have an answer. Would you expect me to stay with her because of what might have been?”

“No, I’d expect you to be with her because you love her.”

“I always will. I love her enough to let her go. Finally. She needs healthy, and we aren’t that.”

“I’ll call you next week.” After hanging up, I feel the disconnect in every facet of my life. Work isn’t the same because Bronson and I worked so well together. We were in sync. I don’t have that here. My personal life . . . I went from one fucked-up mess to another if last night is any indication. I get Lisa may have been protecting herself, but I’ve given her no indication I was going to hurt her. Friendships. I feel the rift. Callie still hasn’t spoken to me, Bronson is angry, and neither of us can grasp the exact reason. The past. The future. All so unknown and I don’t have answers for anyone. Truth is, I don’t know what I’d do if Bianca knocked on my door, if she called me. Every instinct would be to hold her, comfort her, but I don’t know that I can love her like I did at one time.

That love destroyed both of us. Made us people we weren’t.

That love is a drug, and one I’ve kicked my addiction to.

That love took us to the highest of heavens and to the depths of hell.

I can’t separate one from the other. The good. The bad. It’s all mixed together in one giant mess, and it’s not one that needs repeating. Maybe we’ve both learned from this; maybe we’d be good together again.

Maybe we just weren’t meant to be.

I fall asleep dreading the shindig tomorrow at my boss’s house and wake up feeling like hell. Still reeling from the last two days, I contemplate begging off, making up some excuse. I don’t. I get dressed and make my way to the address given to me. Some affluent people live here, judging by the size of the houses, and I know my boss is one. Old money from his wife’s side, and he doesn’t do too shabby himself. I pull in to the driveway filled with more cars than I’m comfortable with, but let’s face it; I’m looking for reasons to be uncomfortable because I don’t want to be here. I realize I came empty-handed and berate myself for that idiotic mistake. I’m so off balance the smallest task is slipping through the cracks. When I get home, I’m going to find Lisa, make her talk to me, implore her to listen. If she chooses not to, that’s my sign.

Greeted by the butler, I’m ushered to the back yard where the party is in full-swing. “Hyatt, was wondering if you were coming or not.”

“Sorry, sir. I was finishing up late last night and lost track of time.”

“Come, meet my wife and daughter. This party is in her honor.”

I try to muster a smile as I follow behind him.

“Janice, this is the boy I told you about from Miami. Meet Dakota. Dakota, this is my daughter Lisa. She graduated last night, and we couldn’t be prouder.” I stand there in a trance. I’m sure my silence is taken for being rude, but I can’t form a word. How the hell was I clueless to the fact she is my boss’s daughter? She knew what I did, where I worked . . . she knew her dad was my superior and never said a word. Looks like I’m not the only one with explaining to do in this relationship.

“Nice to meet you, Mrs. Preston. Mr. Preston, Lisa is my neighbor and up until two nights ago I would have called her my girlfriend.” The looks that pass between all of us are comical. Lisa blushes, as expected. Janice smiles knowingly, and Mr. Preston looks ill.

“So you’re why she showed up here. I knew it wasn’t because she missed us. Excuse us, we’ll let you two talk. Nice to meet you Dakota,” Janice pulls her husband towards the other patrons, but not before I caught his warning glare.

“I can explain,” she speaks.

“Difference between you and me . . . I’m going to let you, but not here and not now. Tonight at my apartment.”

“You’re angry.”

“Yes, I am. You lied to me for months. Yet, I can’t give you the answer you want and you leave. I couldn’t give you that answer because it’s not that easy to explain, and there is a lot behind the reasons . . . you would have understood if you stuck around.”

“I’ll be there tonight.” I nod at her and leave to join my colleagues. I’m seething, betrayed, and confused. All the things I inflicted on another person are now biting me in the ass. Karma. She is a bitch.

Chapter Nineteen

Bianca

Aisle through aisle I walk with him . . . it feels natural.

Ordinary.

Meant to be. And every other cliché you can imagine.

We are met with others’ stares, our parents’ reputation and our last names still recognized in this town, but we don’t allow it to bother us. He laughs as I throw four different creamers in the cart, along with several coffee flavors. He didn’t bat an eye when I picked up the Keurig and placed it gently next to my purse. Just wore his relaxed smirk and allowed me to be me. Refreshing. No pretenses, no games, just existing together as ourselves.

“Are we going to put any real food in the cart?” He interrupts my perusal of the candy aisle.

“You gonna cook it?”

“We should take a cooking class together.”

“Pass.”

“You don’t want to learn?”

“Not really high on my bucket list. Oh, as a matter of fact, it’s not on there at all. I’m good with take-out, microwave, or you cooking.”

“What about our kids?”

I look around. “I don’t see any kids, definitely none of ours. I do think I’d remember that.”

“I meant in the future, smart-ass.”

“I know what you meant. I love that you see a future with me, but let’s have sex first before you start naming Molly and Chris.”

“Our kids will not have the names Molly and Chris.”

“There won’t be a Molly or Chris until you actually put your dick in my vagina.”

“Even when I do put my
dick in your vagina
there still won’t be a Molly or Chris.”

“What’s wrong with my names?”

“Nothing really, but they aren’t strong enough for me. I want names with meaning.”

I lean over and grab a bag of candy. “Well your name makes me think of a candy bar, so you may want to rethink that shit. If I put thought into your name every time I think of you, my ass will be the size of a cargo ship.”

“More to love, baby.” Such a charmer. Unlucky for him, I can see his bullshit meter skyrocketing by the tone of his voice and twinkle in his eye. So I do what any girlfriend would do . . . put about ten more bags of candy in the cart. “Uh, Bianca, Halloween was a week ago.”

“I know. Lucky you, this shit is on clearance. I’m trying to be helpful.”

His laughter rings throughout the store, drawing more attention, but I don’t care. I stop everything I’m doing, every thought ceases to exist, and I take in his beauty. His flawed, yet perfect features . . . they all overwhelm me, and I know in this moment I’m the luckiest girl in the world. His overbearing personality, his dry wit, the way he gets my humor, his dimples, straight nose, strong jaw . . . all mine. He stops laughing, and his eyes meet mine. Tension crackles between us, and the burn from his gaze could incinerate me. Wrapping his arm around my neck, he pulls me close. “We will do take-out tonight, no more shopping. I need to get us to Mexico as soon as possible. Us. Tropical paradise. Tiny bikinis.” He pulls me forward with each word he utters. I watch as he unloads the groceries, swipes his card, and I follow him blindly as he loads it in the car.

Part of the reverie I’m in is his devotion to me, and the other part . . . I haven’t had sex in years, and I’m hornier than a blind lesbian in a fish market. I think he could accidently brush against my clit, and I’d come. I’m not opposed to taking his hand, shoving it down my pants, and getting this party started. I’m trying to figure out a way to play that off as an
accident
. “Heath, are we ever going to have sex?”

He pauses before starting the car. “It’s kind of guaranteed. I just didn’t want to jump you the second you walked through my door.”

“That wouldn’t be a bad thing. I don’t think I could think of anything better at the moment.” His wrist flips, and the ignition comes to life. Streets blur, pedestrians better not be in the crosswalk because I fear for their safety. “Slow down, a ticket or a vehicular homicide arrest right now would delay my orgasm, and I’d become very cranky. Worse than I am with no coffee.”

He squeezes my leg but decreases his speed from Mach 5 to respectable . . . not legal but respectable. “We can wait . . .”

I cut him off. “No, you may be able to wait but I can’t. So therefore
WE
cannot wait. I want you, I want to show you how much I want to, and I don’t want to wait for Mexico, Istanbul, or any other exotic, foreign place we may go.”

“Istanbul?” I narrow my eyes and give him the best fuck-off stare I can. I’m telling this man I want to fuck him, attack him the minute I can, and he wants to discuss a country I mentioned.

“Missing the point. Keep it up, and you’re going to make me not want to get laid.”

“So eloquent.” His smile softens his words. “I was kidding. Trying to lighten the mood because my cock is hard as steel, and I’m on the verge of embarrassing myself before I get you home. I want you, Bianca. So much. I just want to make sure you’re ready.”

“I’m ready.” His nod is all the affirmation I need, and at this point I don’t care how fast he drives, I just need him to get back to his apartment. The idiots crossing the road and slowing down my impending bliss can play Frogger for all I care. Jump on a log, fucker. I start laughing hysterically with that mental image.

“You okay over there?”

I can barely talk through my laughter. “I-I’m pic-pict-picturing the pe-pedes-pedestrians play-playing Fro-Frogger.” He pulls into his parking spot and goes to grab the groceries. If there wasn’t chocolate that could melt, I’d stop him from that task.

He isn’t laughing. “Don’t you think I’m funny?”

“I have no clue what you’re talking about.”

“Frogger? The video game. Oh, never mind if I have to explain it to you it’s not funny. Callie would get it. She completes me.”

“I’m thinking of joining with you, so hopefully you will be
completely
full.”

“Holy fuck-a-noli, you’re just as cheesy stupid as I am.”

“Not gonna argue with you.”

“Someone feeling randy?”

“The fact you just said randy like my eighty-year-old grandma, I’m gonna have to say . . . not anymore.”