Awaken (The Awaken Series Book 1) (14 page)

Was it really necessary to include Jasper and me entering the building holding hands? I knew that Mrs. Hamilton had something to do with the way the tape was cut for our parents to view. Mine were taking it in with more anger and surprise than I even knew they possessed. Every few seconds, their heads would turn to stare at me. I tried not to meet their eyes. We were watching it on the big TV in our living room. It was humiliating. At least Megan was sent to her room before my parents slid the disc into our DVD player.
 

Mother gasped after my little rant about the many faults of Oportet. I’d envisioned my parents yelling at me and preaching to me about what an awful person I was, but they kept quiet, enraptured at the screen. They continued to stare for a long while after the video was over.

“Please tell me that wasn’t you we were watching,” Mother whispered. Her eyes searched mine desperately. “Please tell me that you aren’t… with… an Outsider.”
 

Now that my relationship with Jasper was no longer a secret, their disproval angered me. It wasn’t like they were against dating; I knew that from their constant prodding for me to associate with the sons of big shots in high governmental positions. They were just against Jasper.

“Why would you say those things?” Father asked. “Although Kevin was in the wrong, he was right about one thing.”
 

How could Father possibly defend anything Kevin did—or said?
 

“This Jasper is a bad influence, and as your parents we will not let it continue.”

“You’re so much better than this,” Mother added, gesturing to the screen. She looked heartbroken.

I knew all the blame would be placed on Jasper, and no one would ever stop to think that I came to any conclusions on my own. “What I said had nothing to do with Jasper. I don’t like the way Oportet is being run. It’s wrong.” My parents were done playing nice. I could see it on their faces.

“It doesn’t matter what you think,” Mother spat. “You have no idea what you’re saying or thinking right now—no teenager does. You should be thankful that you live in such a wonderful place as Oportet. These rules keep you safe, and give your life a purpose.” She spoke like she was reading a script from one of the few movies the Council permitted.

I had so many valid arguments I was prepared to counter her with, but then I remembered what Aunt May had said to me about them being “far too gone to be rational.”

My parents were asleep, and I had to accept the fact that I did not possess the ability to wake them up. It wasn’t too late for me, but sadly it was for them.

~~~~~

I hadn’t seen Jasper since the fight Friday morning. It was Saturday now and my family was about to leave for Megan’s soccer tournament, leaving me to “sort out the real truth from what had been implanted into my brain maliciously,” as my mother put it. It was funny because that was what I had been trying to do for the past month now, although not in the manner she wanted.

I’d been keeping the upstairs phone in my room, and no one had even noticed it was missing. Most people used computers for communication, including my parents. My parents each had their own laptops. Megan and I shared one, but I rarely used it. Megan was on it nonstop video-calling her many friends. She was the it-girl of middle school. I wouldn’t be surprised if she had a secret boyfriend herself.

Jasper called me late last night, and I’d agreed to meet him at his house while my family was at the fields watching back-to-back games in the miserable cold. It was forty degrees, windy, with light drizzle. Needless to say, I felt pretty damn lucky to be on house arrest for the day—not that I was planning on actually staying true to this order. I’d go crazy without contact with someone who didn’t treat me like a criminal. All I’d done was speak the truth. Why was that so bad?

I braided my long, dark hair to the side. After grabbing a blue zip-up hoodie from my closet, I checked my appearance in the mirror. I scrutinized every one of my imperfections before I shook my head and walked away. The rain would ruin any makeup or hair fixes anyway. The freezing rain would be blowing into my face all the way to Jasper’s house.
 

I might have hated the miserable trek if it didn’t end with meeting Jasper. I wrapped my arms around myself, surprisingly chilled for someone who tends to thrive in the cold.

My thoughts attacked me. I might have seemed strong in that video, and I might have stood my ground with Mrs. Hamilton and my parents, but the truth was that I was scared.
 

I was scared that I was somehow going to get Jasper expelled from Oportet, or that all of this was just one big dream, and I would soon be brought back into the same old routine that I would live out for the rest of my life. I hated to admit it, but a small part of me feared my parents and Mrs. Hamilton were right. What if Jasper really did brainwash me without me detecting it? What if everything I’d been doing and thinking this past month was just a series of huge mistakes?
 

Was Jasper even capable of such a horrific scheme? I knew how my parents would answer that question. They were convinced that it was all a part of the Outsiders’ plan to infiltrate the minds of Oportet’s youth to gain supporters for their cause. I had never really given much thought to what most people considered extremist conspiracy theories, but I knew that they were convinced of the Outsiders’ plan to take over Oportet and take down the Council, much like what happened with the former American government.
 

I didn’t believe a word of it, and neither did most of the citizens of Oportet. There have been countless studies that have shown Oportet to be as much as one hundred times more stable than the American government in its final years. It would take something drastic to take down our government.

I knocked on Jasper’s door, dying to get inside. I was so close to warmth it was painful. Jasper opened the door, taking me in with a look of surprise.

“What in the world…? Luna, it’s awful out there. You really just walked here?” He shut the door behind me, and then pulled me against him. “God, you’re frozen.”

“Well it’s not like I could get my parents to drive me,” I said, shuddering against the warmth of his body.

He pulled away and dangled a set of car keys in front of me. “I was about to come get you. You’re early.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.”
 

Jasper looked at me like I was speaking a different language. “Why are you apologizing? I’m the one who just let my girlfriend walk two miles in the cold and rain.” I could hear him saying something else, but I wasn’t really listening. Girlfriend. He had just called me his girlfriend. I could picture my face turning red.

Jasper must have noticed my internal freak-out because he’d stopped talking to stare at me. “What’s wrong?” he asked.
 

What was wrong? Wasn’t that what I wanted?
 

“Nothing,” I said. Of course it was what I wanted. It was just that saying it out loud made it real. It made everything real: the fight at school, my parents’ disproval, my doubts about Oportet, late night calls and sneaking out to meet Jasper, and the scariest thing of all—every feeling for him I’d ever experienced.

That was when I knew who was the real brainwasher. Jasper might have helped me wake up, but in the end it was still up to me whether or not to stay asleep, or to live and be free. He wasn’t forcing me to think or feel anything. I chose.

Oportet—the Council and their rules—was what took away everyone’s choice. I wanted a choice.

“Are you sure you’re okay?”
 

I jolted out of my trance, my eyes flickering to Jasper’s.
 

“You’re acting really strange.” His eyes widened. “I am so insensitive, aren’t I?”

“What? Why?”
 

He sat me down on the living room couch, and tossed me a blanket.

“I should have asked you how it went down with your parents. I never wanted you to get into any trouble.” He ran a hand through his hair.

“It wasn’t your fault!” I protested, wanting to wipe the scowl off of his face. I could use one of those contagious smiles right about now.

“And what he said…”
 

Now it was my turn to look away. I had tried to suppress the memory of being called a desperate slut in front of whole school.
 

“He was just trying to lash out at me, and maybe a little at you for choosing the wrong side.” He gave me a weak smile. “And I swear it was never my goal to try to… force… any of my beliefs on you. I just thought you were already… like me.”
 

“Trust me, I know Kevin was full of shit. I also know he was trying to drive a stake between us, probably for Jenna.” I felt a stab of anger thinking about how cold Jenna had turned. She was my best friend only weeks ago. “I can’t believe she pushed Kevin into starting that fight.”

Jasper stiffened at the sudden sound of voices from the foyer. He shook his head and muttered something under his breath.

“I thought your mother worked at the grocery store on Saturdays,” I said, hearing a female voice matched with Alex’s.
 

“She does.”

I got up to see the commotion, ignoring Jasper’s protests to stay in the living room. He followed me closely.

My eyes widened when I reached Alex—and a blonde I didn’t recognize. Alex was wearing sunglasses and a hoodie as he came down the stairs, and the girl was wearing a freakishly small dress for her curvy figure, her mascara smeared like she’d slept in it.

“What the hell?” I mumbled quietly. Who wears sunglasses indoors?

The blonde was giggling like a maniac, touching an unresponsive Alex’s arm as she whispered to him. I didn’t see how he was hearing her with his hood up like that.

“Oh, is this your brother?” she squealed. “What a gene pool!”
 

I couldn’t help but let out a small laugh at her enthusiasm.

“How are you still buzzed?” Alex moaned, reaching under his sunglasses to rub his eyes.
 

Well that made sense. I had never consumed alcohol before, but I’d heard of kids who had broken the rule that forbid anyone from getting drunk or of the possession of alcohol by those below the age of twenty-five.

The blonde’s eyes landed on me. “Who’s that? Is that your sister?”

“She’s at my house enough to be my sister,” Alex muttered. The girl waved at me crazily, and I gave her a small wave back.

“You’re pretty!” she yelled, awkwardly fumbling down the steps. Alex clamped his hands over his ears.

“What did I tell you about screaming in my ear?” Alex growled. He opened the front door, ushering her out.

“Call me!” she whispered loudly, waving goodbye to all of us with a big smile. Her breasts were practically popping out of her red dress.

“He won’t,” I heard Jasper say behind me, earning him a glare from Alex.

“Of course, babe,” Alex said with absolutely zero emotion. Actually, that wasn’t true—the annoyance was detectable, at least to me. The girl seemed content with his answer, and turned to say something else when Alex shut the door in her face.

“What the hell, Alex?” Jasper moved to stand next to me. “She can’t drive like that.”

“She doesn’t have a car, you moron. I drove her here.” Alex said it like we were with him the whole time.

“And you’re not driving her back…to wherever she came from?” I was glad to hear as much disgust in Jasper’s voice as I was feeling towards Alex.

 
“She’s fine to walk.”

I gawked at him incredulously. Was he being serious? Jasper grabbed his keys, shoving past Alex.

“Dude. She lives in our neighborhood. Chill.” Alex started walking back up the stairs. “At least I think she’s the one who does.” He shrugged and disappeared into his room.

~~~~~

We were on the way back from dropping off the blonde, who we learned was named Sophie, and I was growing more and more unsettled.

“Is everyone on the Outside like Alex?” I blurted. Jasper glanced at me from the driver’s seat and sighed.

“I’m not like that, am I?”
 

I shook my head.
 

“Just because you have a choice doesn’t mean you’ll make the wrong one. We might not have ironclad rules out there, but everyone doesn’t choose to be like Alex. I think most people are inherently benevolent, at least for the most part. The rest are screwed up by cruel circumstances.”

“Was Alex?”

“His father was a drunk. My mom kind of kidnapped him when he was barely a teenager, and I say ‘kind of’ because Alex was very willing to get away from his abusive father. But the damage was done. We took him with us to Oportet, but he was already too messed up.” We were now in the driveway, neither of us getting out of the car.

“Is that why you came here? For him?”
 

Jasper shook his head. “No.” He looked away, taking in a deep breath. I could see that he was preparing himself to say something—something important. “My dad was shot,” he said finally.
 

I stared at him in disbelief.
 

“My mom brought us here because she was scared. She wanted us to be safe. Oportet is safe.”
 

“I’m so sorry,” I breathed. I wasn’t sure what to do, or what to say. I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him, and he leaned into me. I rested my head on his shoulder.

“Come on,” Jasper whispered. “I’m tired of all this heaviness. Let’s go do something light for once.”
 

I pulled away. “Like what?”