Awaken Me (The Jaded Series Book 4) (14 page)

After several seconds, he drops his gaze to his hands and watches as he unclenches his fingers and stretches them out.

When he looks back at me, I see sorrow and torture in his eyes. He knows what I’ve said is true. Out of everyone, he and Bailey are the ones who were affected the most by Anna’s death. He because of what Anna was to him, and Bailey, because she witnessed the horrible ordeal and feels it’s her fault Anna was in that situation.

“I’ll talk to her,” he states, his voice gravelly and raw.

“Thank you.”

Once again, we turn back to the yard. I’m about to leave him be when he says, “Grab your stuff. We’ll hit the store and then I’ll drop you off at home.”

I don’t want to leave. He still doesn’t need to be here alone, but I have no choice. I know I’ve pushed him as far as I dare. I don’t want to do irreparable damage.

Unless…

Looking contrite, I nod and go back into the house to grab my bag in the hallway. I send a quick text to Jaxon, hoping he’ll agree to my plan.

We’ve just loaded up the few bags of groceries that Nick purchased when I spot Andrew’s retreating back as he walks into Maggie’s. Trying to stall for time, I turn to Nick.

“I’m hungry. Can we stop over at Maggie’s for a bite before you drop me off?”

He glances over at the diner before looking back at me, weighing his answer before giving it.

There’s a lot I’ve learned about Nick through his friends. For instance, I know it was months before he stepped foot into Maggie’s after Anna died. I’m sure it’s a big reminder every time he goes there. I also know that although he’s gotten over that hurdle, he still tries to avoid the place as much as he can. It’s baby steps that help us the most. I hope he will continue to take them.

I watch closely as several emotions cross Nick’s face. He runs his hands down his face and across his scruffy jaw before closing his door and walking around to my side. A rush of happiness runs through me.

“Come on. We can’t stay long or the groceries will sour,” he says, and I fall into step beside him. It’s cool outside, but not cool enough to hold the groceries long.

I feel his hand at my back for a moment before he drops it, and it sends warmth to my stomach.

We enter the diner a couple minutes later. It’s between breakfast and lunch so it’s not busy. I spot Andrew and Jase sitting at a booth to the left. Andrew is facing me. He sees us walk in and smirks. Jase must notice because he turns around. His eyes hold worry and a bit of contempt when he looks at Nick. I glare at him to warn him to behave. After a second, the look is gone, and I breathe a sigh of relief.

Crisis diverted.

I feel Nick at my back and turn to see him looking at the long white counter. When I look that way, I see Maggie standing behind it, serving a customer. She briefly glances up at us, just long enough for me to see surprise and pleasure, before she looks back at the customer. Bringing my eyes back to Nick, I see pain etched on his face.

Not caring if it’s welcome, I reach for his hand and give it a squeeze. He drags his eyes away from Maggie and looks down at my hand on his. Brows pinched together, he lifts his eyes to me. I don’t know what it is, but something passes over his face.

I hold my breath, waiting for him to reprimand me for interfering, but it doesn’t come. Instead, he pulls his hand from mine and places it on my back, guiding me over to Andrew and Jase’s table.

As we get closer, I notice they have another guest with them. I squeal in delight and run the last few feet to their table to drop down on my knees in front of Ally.

Technically Ally is Andrew’s daughter, but she knows him as her uncle. Andrew donated his sperm to her parents, Becky and Brent, when they couldn’t get pregnant on their own. She has leukemia and the last several months have been hard on her. Because of the chemo treatments, her bone marrow died. Andrew donated his to help. Last I heard they were waiting to see if it took and if the leukemia was in remission. Of course, even if it is remission, there’s always a chance it could come back. I pray that doesn’t happen. She’s been through enough.

“Hey, Ally!” I tell her, holding out my arms for a hug. She smiles big, making her whole face light up. She climbs out of her seat and throws her arms around my neck.

When she pulls back, she kisses my cheek. My heart melts even more for this little girl.

“Hi, Christabelle,” Ally chirps at me in her sweet voice. Besides my parents, she is the only one who calls me by my full name. She claims Chris sounds too close to a boy’s name.

“How have you been?” I ask, holding her small hands in mine.

She’s nearly bouncing on her feet when she says excitedly, “I’m going to be okay! Just like I knew I would be! The doctors said I’m all better now!”

Moisture pricks my eyes, and I look up to Andrew, hoping what she said is what I think it is. The answer is written all over his face when his lips form a big smile, the stressful look he’s carried lately finally wiped clean.

“Really?” I ask, looking back and forth between him and Ally.

“Really,” he confirms, looking more relaxed than I’ve seen him in a while. “The marrow took and her white blood cell count is where it should be. The leukemia is in remission.”

“Oh my God! This is wonderful news!”

I hug Ally close to me. Not giving Andrew time to rise from his seat, I lean over Ally to give him a hug as well. Jase gets up, and I throw my arms around him too. This is the best news I’ve heard in a long time. My heart swells for these three. They deserve some good news.

I squat back down to Ally, grab her cheeks, and kiss her forehead.

“Let me look at you,” I tell her when I pull back.

She looks so much better than the last time I saw her. She has on a beanie that hides the fact that all her hair is gone. Her cheeks have more color, her eyes are no longer sunken in, and it looks like she’s gained a few pounds, even though it’s only been a couple weeks since I saw her at Becky and Brent’s house. She looks healthier and happier.

I’ve always loved kids, and I hope to have some one day. It’s been a dream of mine since I was little myself. I can’t imagine never having them; it would devastate me.

My mind immediately wanders to the man still standing behind me. I know I shouldn’t, but an image of Nick holding a baby pops into my head. I wipe it away, knowing it’s ridiculous to even entertain such a thing.

I stand and turn to him. He’s been quiet this whole time. When I’m facing him, he’s looking at Ally with an expression I’ve never seen on his face before. His eyes are soft and his lips are tipped up at the corners. He looks absolutely breathtaking like this, no longer appearing the hard-hearted man.

I know I must be staring at him like an idiot, so I pull my eyes away and look back at Ally. She has her head tipped back and is watching Nick with interest.

“Nick,” Andrew says, standing. “You haven’t met Ally yet. Ally, this is another friend of mine, Nick.”

“You’re Nick?” Ally breathes, seeming mesmerized by him.

I didn’t know it was possible, but Nick’s expression softens even more. He gets down on one knee in front of her.

“That’s me. It’s nice to finally meet you, Ally,” his deep voice rumbles.

Still in a daze, Ally takes a step closer to him. She lifts her small palm and lays it on his cheek.

“I’ve heard about you,” she says, so quietly I have to strain to hear.

I look up at Andrew and Jase and see them both watching the exchange. Andrew lifts his eyes to mine, arching a brow. I look back down at Nick and Ally.

“You’re Uncle Andy’s sad friend,” she whispers.

I suck in a breath and my hand flies to my mouth. Tears pool in my eyes at her softly spoken words and the weight behind them.

Nick closes his eyes for a moment. When he opens them, they are still soft, but the grief is back.

“I am, but I’ll be okay,” he tells her sadly, and gives her a small smile.

She smiles at him in return, leans over and kisses his cheek, and then pulls back.

“You will be. I know you will.”

He looks at her a few more seconds and then kisses her forehead before standing back up.

The heart-stopping moment is over. I wonder what Nick thought about in those moments.

Andrew resumes his seat, grabbing Ally’s hand and pulling her with him. Instead of sitting across from him like he was, Jase scoots in next to Ally. The seat is cramped, forcing Andrew to put his arm on the back of the booth.

“Join us,” Andrew says, gesturing to the seat across from them.

I look at Nick to make sure it’s okay. He nods, so I slide in the seat. He sits down beside me, and I immediately feel his warmth.

“You going to be okay there, Skittles, or do you want me to put you in a booster seat at the end of the table?” Andrew asks Ally with mischief.

“Really, Uncle Andy? You know I’m too big for a booster seat,” she scolds him with her child’s voice.

“Just checking,” he says, chuckling and ruffling the top of her head.

I love seeing this side of Andrew. He’s a natural when it comes to kids and would make an excellent father if given the chance. Thank goodness Becky and Brent allow him to spend so much time with Ally.

“So, what are you both doing today?” Andrew says, giving us a curious look.

It must be strange to see us together like this. I have to admit; it feels strange. I never thought we would be in a place where we could actually sit down and be civil to each other. I had hoped, but never really thought we would.

I love it.

I feel Nick shift beside me. His leg brushes against mine and stays there. I don’t know if it’s intentional or not, but I don’t move my leg either. Is it pitiful of me to take any type of contact I can from him, even if it’s just an innocent brush of his leg against mine?

“We just left Evelyn’s after picking up a few things. Nick is taking me home after we leave here.”

Unless my plan works
, I silently add. I glance down at my phone, which I have placed on the table. I haven’t heard back from Jaxon, so I have no idea if he got my message or not.

“How’s work?” Andrew asks Nick.

Nick moves again and his arm rubs against mine. My body is hyperaware of him, so I feel even the tiniest of movements. I have to work at not squirming from the butterflies currently zooming around in my stomach.

“It’s work. Been having trouble with a couple contractors cutting corners. I had to let one go about a month ago because he fucked up a wiring job.” He winces and looks at Ally, who’s currently drawing on a white piece of paper, oblivious to us talking. Still, Nick watches his language when he talks next. “Had one of my men not noticed, it could have ended with an electrical fire, and God knows how many people inside. When I went to past jobs the guy worked on for me, I found a few more screwups. I don’t need that crap. Luckily, he was new and the jobs he’d done for me so far aren’t finished and the buildings aren’t occupied yet, but it sets me back.”

Wow! I think this is the most I’ve heard him talk. I sit and listen intently. I love hearing his voice. It’s gruff and deep and sends tickles down my spine every time I hear it. It’s different now though. The animosity that’s usually there isn’t present. You can tell he genuinely cares about his job and how his work affects others.

“That’s awful. How can people be so selfish and think it’s okay to cheat that way, knowing someone could get hurt in the process?” I put in, upset for Nick that he has to deal with this.

“I have no clue, but it doesn’t fly with me. I don’t operate my business that way,” he says passionately.

“Some people are just out for themselves,” Andrew says. “You can analyze it all you want, but we’ll never know why people do what they do. You just have to learn to avoid them.”

Just then Maggie walks up to our table, out of breath, and interrupts our conversation.

“Sorry for the wait. Damn Frank wouldn’t shut up,” she grumbles, looking at each of us. Her gaze lingers on Nick longer than the rest of us.

“Hey Nick, ’bout time you come in here for a visit.” Her voice is kind and affectionate, but there’s a hint of deep-seated pain there as well.

He gets up and engulfs her in his big strong arms. She wraps her own arms around his middle, hugging him tight.

“Hey Gram,” I hear him say softly. “Sorry for not coming sooner.”

She pushes him back and gives him a loud kiss on the cheek. “Oh posh!” she says, patting the cheek she kissed. “You’re here now. How long are you in town for?”

“Should be a few weeks at least, if nothing pops up.”

“Good. You need a break. I don’t want you waiting so long in between visits, you hear?” She points a pen she pulled from her apron at him.

He throws up his hands in mock surrender. “I won’t. Promise,” he says, chuckling, sending goose bumps down my arms with the sound.

Maggie pulls out a pad of paper while Nick sits back down, his leg once again resting against mine. His hand brushes against my hair when he puts his arm along the back of the seat behind me. If I’m not mistaken, he’s sitting closer to me than he was before. With his arm on the back of the seat and his leg against mine, it almost feels like he’s caging me in. However, this is a cage I would willingly be captured in.