Arrows (24 page)

Danny’s face.

The anger lines in his forehead and eyebrows had softened and his shoulders relaxed. “Karma,” he said, leaning toward me. Was he going to kiss me?

Despite the fact that every muscle in my body throbbed with pain, I turned my face, barely avoiding his thick lips. “Just—don’t touch me, okay?” I didn’t want his lips. He’d lied to me so many times. Hurt me. I deserved better, and so did Nell.

I wanted better.

The pain inside me began to fade. It recoiled, as if being wound on a music box. With each second that I admitted the truth to myself, a release spread over my torso, little sparks, little stings. I gasped and grabbed the seat for support. What was happening to me? The feeling was both sad and beautiful, sad because of the truth and beautiful from the freedom it told. My body no longer felt heavy. The nausea that had sickened me for weeks lightened, then disappeared. I turned to the window, to the shadowy outline of trees and buildings. Mist floated along the ground.

“Don’t touch me,” I whispered.

“Babe, I’m so sorry. I love you.” His voice was soft and desperate. Unfamiliar. He covered my hand with his, but I felt nothing. I pulled mine away.

“I’m going to make this right,” he continued. “First, dinner like I promised.” He dragged the gear back and began to drive toward the highway.

“Dinner won’t fix what you’ve done.”

“Marry me.”

“What?”

“Marry me. We can live together in college, you and me and Nell. I love you, Karma.”

“No, Danny. I thought that was what I wanted, but I can’t do this anymore. We aren’t happy. We haven’t been happy for a long time.” Lakefield was speeding by. Had Aaryn watched us drive away? The clarity of what had to happen next felt amazing, like my life could be bright and clean again after all those weeks of fog.

“I love you so much,” he said. “I’m going to do everything I can to make you happy.”

“It’s too late for that.”

“What?” His voice actually shook.

“Please turn around and take me back to Aaryn’s. It’s over between us.” My posture was straight. The words were sweet and empowering, a year in the making; a long, damaging year. He had fooled me and pushed me and almost ruined me, but I was strong. I was brave.

“I don’t love you anymore.”

Endlessness.

The clouds of Mount Olympus shifted above me. I was home. The city with honey-scented air, and light, and no Karma. The inhalation and exhalation of my breath was her name, as if I could hold on to her, hold on to life.

“Aaryn. Get up.”

The marble was cold beneath my hands and feet as I tried to stand. I felt weak.

“Hey, Dad.” But I couldn’t. The ache of my human body had gone, but the ache for her was far worse. “I’ve lost her. I don’t even know what to say.”

“Who have you lost?”

I squinted, my head in my hand, but the brightness around me only changed shape.

My father clapped my shoulder. “Come on now, get up. You did it, son. You’re finally home. I’m so proud of you.”

“We need to talk about the arrows.”

That’s when I heard the murmur of the gods in the distance. A soothing hum of voices, like a calm, crowded arena, rose from a shadowed half-moon before us. There, tucked among storm clouds, the assembly had gathered.

“You did it,” Dad repeated, grabbing my arm and leading me to where the white began to dissolve to gray. His golden cape flickered in the fog. Talk of my return grew louder, though I couldn’t make out the words.

“No,” I said. “I’ve failed you, and so many others, in so many ways. But we can fix things. Maybe the assembly can help us figure out what we’re doing for people. What we stand for.”

From the perimeter of light, Tek stepped forward. “I saw the chip register,” he said.

I shrank back as if I could protect her memory from him by doing so.

“What chip?” Dad said. He’d crossed his arms at Tek’s arrival, a little glance toward the heavens, where Zeus watched their interaction. As much as Dad hated Tek, everyone knew Zeus had a soft spot for the kid.

Tek stacked his arm across my shoulders, the material stinging. “The chip that’s brought Aaryn home.” He squeezed like we were buddies. “He’ll be the next cupid joining High Tower.”

“I won’t.” I shrugged out of his arm. “I’m done with this. I don’t want to control people’s lives, not with your software, or the arrows.” I faced my father. “You don’t know what you’re doing to people. I saw what the arrows can do. What interfering can do. People deserve a choice in who they love.”

She had been my choice. She would always be that. I felt short of breath as her name and face and smile filled my thoughts.

Tek and my father seemed more concerned with each other than with anything I had to say. They argued about whose side I was on. About the purpose of the cupids.

Dad’s wings expanded with a rush, thick from his shoulder blades, rising into a curve along his face and sloping downward to points at the end. Smooth white feathers covered the wings’ muscles in a clean pattern. “Love is a sacred thing,” he told me. “Maybe someday you’ll realize that.”

“But the arrows are causing pain,” I said. “They aren’t only about love, are they, Dad?”

“What do you mean?”

“The practice arrow in my pack on finals. The lead arrow.”

“What lead arrow?”

“I know about Mom.”

My father stiffened. “Keep your mother out of this.” In my peripheral vision, I saw a smirk rising on Tek’s face.

I shook my head. “I know about Aleth. The lead arrow. Maybe a compatibility scan
would
be good for the arrows. Tek said he was working with you, which might actually be a good idea. We have to come up with a plan to help people instead of hurt them.” A cruel thought came: that maybe they should all fall for someone who could never love them back. Maybe they’d get it. Let them try to live with the memory of someone they’d once loved.

“I like the sound of this,” said a voice from the heavens.

Tek stepped forward. “But, Zeus, with all due respect—you and I both know there can only be one god of desire. Eros’s own son believes the arrows are flawed. They’re out of control. Dead arrows, lead arrows.”

Tek needed to pay for his lies. “The Hive distracted me at the ration house on finals,” I said. “Your program. So who’s the one really out of control?”

“And the audit,” Dad said, facing the heavens. “It seems like he’s been working on this plan for a long time.”

Tek’s arms were crossed, his feet shifting.

“But have the arrows become strong enough to hurt people?” Zeus asked. “Eros, is it true that you used a lead arrow on your wife?”

“There was no lead arrow.”

The sound of the wind filled my ears, roaring, the storm clouds building, mist hitting my face. “But Mom broke the arrow’s spell,” I said slowly.

“Yes.” My father’s wings drooped with a sigh, and he glanced at Tek, then me. “And I made up a myth about why we separated, to hide the truth. That Psyche fell in love with Aleth and broke her own spell.”

I shivered as I stood outside Aaryn’s apartment, knocking loudly.

He still hadn’t answered, not the door, not my calls. I held my cheek to the wood and checked the handle, definitely locked.
Where are you, where are you, where are you, where—

I sat on the doormat. The wind shook the entrance at the bottom of the stairwell, little ticking sounds from snow, cold seeping through the building. The way I’d left with Danny after that kiss, after everything. It was draining and exciting and I was really starting to worry that Aaryn might hate me.

I’m not sure how long my eyes were closed.

They opened at the sound of someone stumbling inside.

“Karma! You’re here. But wait a minute, why? You left, and I—”

Aaryn stood at the bottom wearing khaki shorts, his chest naked. He held the railing as if moving might wake us from the moment.

His voice caught. “I thought you were gone.”

The plastic fibers beneath my hand went flat, but I didn’t rise, didn’t know where to start.

“I broke up with Danny.” I stared at him. “Why are you dressed like that? It’s snowing.” The light above the entry made his features sharp and beautiful.

He took one step forward, the snow in his hair already beginning to melt. “Because I’m human again, and for some reason they didn’t send me with a shirt.”

“Human again?”

The space between us began to feel like something I could choreograph, a real running at each other and spinning kind of moment. “I’m human now, but I used to be a god.”

I laughed. “Well, that explains why you’re so sculpted.” And then my face got warm and I had to look away, though I kind of wanted to stare at his chest forever.

“I’m being serious. Before I came to Earth, I was a cupid on Mount Olympus.”

I tilted my head to the side, one eyebrow raised.

“I’m the reason you stayed with Danny. My arrow, the one I shot you with a year ago, had you under a spell.”

“What?”

“It’s time.”

“I’m pretty sure I’m the one in control of myself, thank you.”

“You must have broken your own spell, like my mother did. I always knew you were strong.”

“You’re crazy.”

“Crazy about you.” The third stair creaked as he moved up, drops of water beading on his shoulders and chest. “I’m here now. Here to stay. The assembly let me stay.” Fourth step. “I’m here to build a life—and I’m yours, if you’ll have me.” He nodded, like he was finally understanding something. “I belong here.”

“The assembly? What are you talking about?”

“The assembly decides everything on Mount Olympus.”

“You’re insane!”

“Insane about you.”

The wind quieted. Fifth step. “Longing for you.” And my heart leapt hard because it had waited so long to give in to how I felt about him. My body felt like it was humming from the rush, the rush of letting myself care.

He held his elbows. “Freezing for you.” And I chuckled, him drawing closer, closer, until only three steps and the landing separated us. He held out his hand. “Here for you.”

“I never got to make my announcement.” I smiled, feeling dizzy with excitement. “I got the scholarship.”

He ran the remaining way and pulled me up for a kiss, which took my breath away; stupid as it sounds, that really happened. He hugged me too tight and spun around until I squealed, kissing my hair, my neck, both of my hands, really a crazy, insane guy.

“I can’t believe it. Yes. Yes! I didn’t totally screw up your life.” And he kissed me again, his hands cupping my face, me half laughing as I kissed him back all sloppy, feeling happier than, I don’t even know, just happy. “We have to celebrate, right now. We have to talk about everything, and I have to get a shirt on, and—there’s so much to tell you. You have to promise you’ll believe all the crazy parts, and then forgive me, no matter what.”

“Oh my God.”

“Yes?” He crowded me against the door gently, my arms winding around him, my lips inches from his. “I’m here.”

ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

There’s a saying for writers: “To you, your book is the world, but to the world, it is a book.” I want everyone listed here to know that to me,
you are the world.
You and this book are connected. Thank you.

Thanks to my parents, Rick and Dawn, for giving me a happy childhood with plenty of time to imagine and write. To my grandparents, Jean, Larry, Virginia, David, and great–grandma Leona who were there, too.

To my sisters and best friends, Crystal, Tasha, Emily, and Laura, and my brother, Josh, for knowing me since they were born and loving me anyway. (BTW, I’m the boss.) To their spouses, Stef, Dusty, and JB.

To my husband, Shea, who deserves to be listed from beginning to end for everything he’s done, from believing in me to cooking for me to reading early drafts. You love me so well.

To my parents-in-law, Doug and Kathy, for your endless support of me and my family. To Shel and Shem, too.

To Owen, Athena, and Avery. I love you. Whatever you become in the future, make it something good.

To my nieces and nephews, Cali, Lucy, Ari, Bryce, Gavin, Hayden, Gabe, Brock, Laith, Ryder, Ledger, and Barrick, who fill my life with endless joy. Someday you’ll be old enough to read this. Auntie will kiss your adorable cheeks until then.