Anticipation (2 page)

“Kalinda, we should be honest with each other.”

“Honesty in a hotel bar conversation. Wonders never cease,” she said, jiggling the glass. She counted each time the ice chips thudded against the sides of the glass, pacing herself so she could think and process. 1...2...3...4...5...”So how honest can I be with you?” she asked, turning to face him.

“Tell me anything. I don’t judge.”

“I hate war.”

“I do, too.” Colin’s eyes drifted away, staring at the bottles neatly behind the bar. “My grandfather was a Quaker, but this was the quickest route out of trouble. I hated Stillwater with a passion I only reserve for St. Louis Cardinals.”

Kalinda didn’t ask what trouble a younger him would have gotten into. “Join the club. I hate the Cardinals, too.” She touched his forearm, pleasantly surprised by the heat, the muscles underneath his jacket and her fingers. “I think you’re handsome.”

“I think you look like a glass of Crown Royal on ice.”

“How does that look?”

“Smooth, caramel, lusty, rich, and strong.”

She liked his bluntness tinged with a bit of sweetness. “You’re cheeky.”

He laughed again, and that sound and its accompanying sensations warmed her. “By telling you that you’re the most beautiful, full-bodied woman I’ve seen all day?”

“You haven’t seen my body.”

“Not yet.” A cocky grin crossed his lips. “Give me time.”

“Is that your expectation for the night?”

“I’m having a drink with a new friend. I have no intentions, just enjoying your company.”

A blip of silence between them, as they figured each other out. “What was the boyfriend coming here for?”

Honesty is not the best policy for hotel bar small talk, Kalinda thought. But what did she have to lose? “I needed more than just my ego stroked.” She downed her refreshed drink. “It’s my birthday—“

“Happy birthday, Kalinda.”

Kalinda smiled harder and brighter than reason dictated. Colin was the first person in Memphis to wish her a happy birthday. “Thanks. My ex-boyfriend was supposed to deliver some chocolate cake this weekend.”

Confusion crossed Colin’s face, crinkling his forehead and casting doubt in his eyes. “Chocolate cake? You came to Memphis for something you could make at home? I’m not clear on that one.”

“Cake, cut. To get off.” Kalinda sighed when none of those terms cleared the confusion on his face. “Have sex.”

Colin laughed, shaking his head. “I need a thesaurus to catch up on the slang. Gone fifteen months and now sex doesn’t even mean sex anymore.”

Kalinda leaned into the back of the bar stool and crossed her arms over her chest, her eyes never breaking from his. “Let me be blunt: He was coming to fuck me thoroughly. That was the intention,” she said pointedly.

Colin tapped the bar. Within seconds, the bartender filled his glass to the brim. “Do you talk dirty like that to him?”

Kalinda chuckled. “If you think that’s dirty, you have a lot of living to do, kiddo.”

He rubbed his forehead, a slight upturn formed on his lips. “And that’s all you wanted. To have sex.”

Kalinda shook her head. “At a minimum, yes. Gosh, I sound—“

“No judgment here. I appreciate a woman who knows what she wants and isn’t afraid to ask for it. Anything else that you wanted for?”

“Oh, and get some good birthday head.”

“So, you’re a getter.”

“I’m a giver. But it’s my birthday, so I would like a present. I want to get laid.”

“I want that, but I also want more.”

The universe had a screwed-up sense of humor. He wanted something deeper. “More like what?”

“Random one-night stands, I got those out of my system when I was younger. I want more.”

“So, a two-night stand.”

“Is that what you’re willing to give me?”

“I’m only promising tonight.”

“So how long has it been for you?”

Kalinda knew the calculated day to the nanoseconds, but it was too embarrassing to admit out loud. “Longer than I prefer. What’s your number?”

“Too long. Sixteen months.”

Almost as long as her own winless streak. “So sixteen months of nothing?”

“I don’t shit where I eat.”

“That must make going to the bathroom in your house impossible.”

He shrugged, a smile cracking his face and showing the perfect rows of teeth. “Fraternization policies. An officer can’t date enlisted members. And when you’re dodging bullets and bombs, the last thing on your mind is sex.”

“And now?” Curiosity took hold of her thoughts and her mouth.

“It’s all I can think about. Pent-up doesn’t describe half of what I am. I can count the hours and minutes since I was last with—“

“Who was she?”

“An ex. My fiancée who couldn’t take my nomadic life.”

“Was it good?”

“Not even close. It was a release. I came. That was it. Even bad sex is better than no sex. After it was done, I wished I had just watched reruns of The Twilight Zone.”

“To bad sex. May we never have it again.”

“I can’t wish that. Bad sex teaches you to appreciate the good sex when you do get it.”

“That hasn’t been often for me.”

“Who was your last?”

“My ex-boyfriend.”

“So you were coming to meet him for bad sex.”

“I like intimacy, closeness. I miss that.”

“Are we still being honest, Kalinda?”

“As honest as you need to be.”

“I can feel you on the tip of my tongue.”

She could stop this. She should stop this right now before the teasing and flirting devolved into something deeper, more complex, and pleasurable. “How do I taste?”

Colin rubbed his lips absently, his eyes focusing on the glass of ice and liquor in front of her. “Better than that, I imagine.” He looked up directly into her eyes. The invisible magnetic attraction was drawing her closer, attracting her to him.

“I do.” She leaned into him and grazed her lips over his. A simple and quick kiss just to feel his lips, taste his need, detect any interest. He took the lead and intensified the kiss, his tongue stroking hers with severe, fiery need. The kiss should have lasted forever, but he broke away, looking dazed and enamored.

Colin found her voice. “I can help you tonight. With that. If you want to do that.”

The kisses, the drinks, the man, the letdown—all of these events made her thoughts hazy and her tongue trippy.”Do what with me, Colin?”

“Don’t be coy or a smartass, Kalinda. What I came for tonight is the same thing you want.”

“I came for it with someone else.”

“I’m not trying to be a replacement.”

“I never said you were a fill-in for him.”

She slid off the barstool and tightened the belt around her sweater. Slinging her handbag over her shoulder, she charged out to the lobby, knowing he had two choices: follow or stay. Either one had benefits and consequences for the both of them. Common sense told her that this was insane taking a man she just met into her hotel room. The stranger-danger lessons from her elementary school years buzzed in her ears. He could be anybody, could do anything with her.

The bank of elevators was deserted. No one coming or going. She waited as two elevators opened, closed, and whizzed up the floors. He wasn’t coming.

The third elevator quietly dinged and opened. She stepped inside and pressed the tenth floor and leaned against the wall, clutching the rail. The doors slid closed until at the last second, they hesitated and re-opened. The pent-up breath in her lungs released. Colin moved into the space.

“I closed out your tab at the bar.” He took one hand off the rail and pressed her debit card into that. “I think you might need this when you get home.”

“I don’t want to think about home tonight.”

They appraised each other from across the elevator. The ride to her room was slowed by entering and exiting passengers unaware of the tension between the solider and the woman. Finally, they threaded through a few people when the doors opened to her floor.

He trailed as she led him down the corridor to her room. Opening the door to the room, she faced him as she backed into the room. She turned on the desk lamp and slowly unzipped her dress. He followed suit, shedding his jacket and boots.

“I don’t do this all the time.” Her stockings came off next. Standing there in front of him as nude as she had been with a man in a long time, Kalinda felt a powerful feeling that she craved for so long. To be wanted, desired.

“I don’t care about the other times. I care about right now. Why me?”

Kalinda saw the question and hesitancy in Colin’s eyes. He knew the questions racing through her head and watched her sort through her thoughts. He wanted to answer her badly. Explain how things moved so fast. Tell her that they were meant to be. It had been predestined. But those were all lies. She wanted this, needed this, had anticipated this. And he was the one who would receive it.

The words haltingly came. “I want you.”

“Any guy could have given you—“

“No they couldn’t have. I want this with you tonight.”

Colin approached her, settling his hands on the swell of her hips and drawing her closer to him. His need was obvious and flush against her. “You’re just what I imagined.”

“You just met me.” She pushed him away, taking the time to collect herself.

As he lifted the hem of his shirt, Kalinda gasped. His body was picture perfect. Her hand collided with marbleized skin and scar tissue that stretched over his abs. She was certain the craggy lines were across his back and down his legs.

“I don’t terrify you.” Colin swallowed hard as her fingers trailed and traced over the webbed skin. “Some people think scars are—”

Kalinda shook her head. “Your scars are a part of you, and I like you. What happened?”

“Work-related. It’s the price of doing business with the military,” he said. “My ex thought—“

“Whatever you’re thinking, know that I’m not her.” Kalinda smiled, daring to look into his eyes. He needed to know he was still desirable, still wanted, still a man who had survived something horrible. She stood on her tiptoes and brushed her lips against his.

Colin took that as an invitation to go deeper, kissing her breathless and dueling with her tongue. He nipped at her lips and she responded in turn. He moved her fingers away from the scars and down his belt buckle. No instructions given or needed. On instinct, she loosened the belt and the top of his pants just enough to slide her hands inside. She heard the slight intake of breath when she grazed his cock. She stroked him from the base to the tip, pulling a groan from him as she methodically massaged him to a marble hardness. His hips pressed forward naturally, following the rhythm that has seduced man and woman since the beginning of time.

They made it to the bed, the remainder of her clothes shed before they hit the mattress. The foreplay went on as they fell into an easy pattern of giving and getting, teasing out each other’s preferences and pulling and pushing the other to the brink. His hands felt better than she imagined. His tongue did more than she knew she wanted. He worshipped her breasts, kissing and biting her nipples until she broke into a chant of moans, curses and his name. She slid her hands—palms flat and fingers dancing—across his skin, trailing each touch with kisses across his body until she reached his dick. She sucked him into her mouth, enjoying his smell and taste. Loving how a few licks and well-timed strokes made him shiver and whimper when he came in her mouth, on her chest. Falling for him when he called out her name like an ancient mantra as he relaxed into the orgasm. Needing him more as he pressed into her wetness, filling her tight spaces and coaxing her to move in sync with him. Again and again and again until they came. And that was only the first time that night.

Kalinda weighed her options after she had been stirred awake by Colin stroking her nipples and his hard length nudging her bottom. Spooning and cuddling after sex, this was new, and she liked it. Just from the few hours she spent with Colin, he wouldn’t be the type to avoid handholding, touching.... She could stay cocooned in bed with this man. Forever.

Her phone buzzed on the nightstand, and she groped to get it. Her thoughts were foggy, still clouded by drink, orgasms and a late night.

“I’ve been calling you since last night.” Her former boyfriend. Again.

“Sorry I missed the call.” She clutched the space next to her, her fingers grazing a man’s back. He was still here. She hadn’t made this night up. “What’s up?”

“You hung up on me.”

She let him talk. Colin turned into her, his sleepy mouth searching and connecting with her nipples. Her slight moans went unnoticed by the disembodied voice on the other end.

“I know you’re mad with me, about the situation. I couldn’t get out of town. Too much was happening with the bond ratings and debt ceilings...”

Kalinda murmured, prompting him to talk. But in this bed, her utterances were a call urging Colin on to do more wicked things with his tongue and hands. He smiled as he retreated under the sheets.