A Project Chick (20 page)

For the rest of the day, she began to brainstorm where she could get the money. She called her cousin, Gator. He said he couldn't give it to her because he had 129

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just purchased a barbershop with all his money and did not have one dime to spare. She fully understood, due to the fact that Gator had always assisted her in other matters where Lucky fell short. Like for instance, he took the boys to get a haircut every week, and afterwards, would take them to dinner somewhere. This was the closest thing to any male bonding her boys had, her thugged-out, younger cousin Gator.

Gator was a few years younger than Tressa. He dressed like a thug, complete with cornrows braided to the back, barely weighing in at 150 pounds, baggy pants sagging down, which gave him an extra fifteen pounds.

Gator was a brown skinned handsome guy with fat, chubby cheeks, and wore gold Versace glasses. He was one book that couldn't be judged by its cover. He was raised up by the same principles and rules that Taj had instilled in Tressa, but a gangster he wasn't. He was fully educated by and was affiliated with, many people who lived the life, but Gator's number one goal was to get rich legitimately. He read all kinds of management and business books. He'd just put a major accomplishment under his belt at only twenty-one years, owning a barbershop. This was just one of his many goals he had set for himself. He loved Tressa as if she was his sister. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do for her, and if there was some way, somehow he could give her the money, the money would be hers without a doubt.

She called Wiggles, who also now worked a 9 to 5.

Wiggles agreed to give her $75.00, and offered to help pay back whoever Tressa would borrow the rest of the money from. Wiggles also said she would ask Boo-Boo for fifty dollars too. Within a matter of forty minutes, Wiggles had $125.00 for Tressa towards the car. Now, all she had to do was work on getting the DMV tags and title fees, which was about $240.00. As far as the insurance, she would transfer it over from the Honda and would still have to pay them a down payment to add it. That wasn't a major worry for her, she'll get that in a week or so when she could.

Then she called her faithful girlfriend, Missy. If Missy had it, she could get it. Missy was her devoted friend, although it seemed as if Tressa spent more time with 130

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Dutchess. Missy was one of the most positive people she knew. Though they didn't talk everyday, she knew Missy was someone she could count on regardless of the storm. A lot of times she wouldn't stress Missy out with the everyday, day-to-day drama she experienced. She only called Missy when she needed words of wisdom, a positive input. Missy was heavily into church, so sometimes, Missy's religious take on things wasn't what she needed. Missy informed Tressa that she had just paid a slue of bills, so she wasn't able to assist Tressa either.

Tressa wasn't going to call and ask Dutchess for the money. Dutchess was cool with her, but at times, Dutchess got on her nerves. Tressa would never admit it to Dutchess, but she was very ashamed to go out to a restaurant with Dutchess because she always embarrassed Tressa. They could never go to a restaurant without Dutchess bringing the drama. Dutchess would order the most expensive thing on the menu, and eat more than half of it, and then have the nerve to say when she's just about done with it, "ullll, there's a piece of hair in my food! And they must be crazy if they think I am going to pay for this." And Dutchess would make a big scene at the end of meal, and guess what? She wouldn't pay for it either. As broke as Tressa was, by all means she wanted a discount if she could get one, but at the same time, she had no problem paying for her meal. This was one of the things that Tressa overlooked when it came to Dutchess, for Dutchess and Tressa shared so many laughs and they talked faithfully everyday for hours. Tressa loved hanging out with Dutchess, but to save herself the embarrassment, she just never went to dine with Dutchess.

But when it came to matters of the heart and her innermost feelings, she kept them away from Dutchess.

She believed with all her soul that secretly, Dutchess was happy that Tressa was going through such hard times. Not to mention that Dutchess was friends, well a fake sister, to Lucky. Although she said, and swore to God, "crossed her heart, hoped to die, stick a needle in her eye," that after Tressa caught the girl in her old apartment, that she wasn't dealing with Lucky anymore.

As convincing as Dutchess sounded when she promised Tressa, it was a promise that Tressa didn't ask 131

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for, because she knew that Dutchess and Lucky called each other brother and sister. In Tressa's heart, she never fully believed it. So, as bad as Tressa wanted to call Dutchess, she didn't. She knew the routine, Dutchess would probably ask her all these questions and then say she didn't have the money. She wasn't giving Dutchess the satisfaction of knowing that she needed her, and she wouldn't come through.

Hoping nobody spotted her going into the pawnshop on her lunch break, she tried to pawn her rings to try to get the money. To her surprise, the two rings she thought was worth over $2,500.00 a piece, the pawn shop owner was only trying to give her $50.00 for each one and wanted her to sell them outright, due to the fact they already had so many other cluster rings. She was deflated. As desperate and disappointed as she was, she told them. "Before I give you my rings, I'll sell them on the streets and get way more than that."

Is this what all single mothers go through when the
father refuses to give them child support?

For one second, she thought about asking Jacko, but she couldn't bring herself to ask him. See, asking any man to do anything for her was such a hard thing. Prior to meeting Lucky, she was very independent. She never had to actually ask Lucky for anything material because he always made sure it was there. She never felt dependent on him.

Her mother, Cyn, couldn't escape her abusive husband because she was dependent on her stepfather.

Her mother wanted the better life for her children, so, instead of leaving, she put up with the abuse.

Tressa reflected that she didn't want to put herself in the situation of making Jacko think, for one minute, that she needed him. She was already grateful to him for transporting her and her kids to and from work and school.

Him inconveniencing himself was already enough for him to do. Plus, she didn't want to feel "needy". So, she destroyed the thought of approaching Jacko for the money that she was positive he would give to her.

Tressa took a deep breath, swallowed her pride and picked up the phone to make her final call, the one phone call she dreaded to make. Before the phone could ring, she 132

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hung it up. She took two more deep breaths, picked the phone up and dialed the number. As soon as the voice answered. "Yo." She got an instant attitude. Lucky's voice made her sick.

"Lucky, this is Tressa."

"Hey baby." He said in a sweet tone. This was one call he was glad to receive. "Do you think I could ever forget your voice?"

She ignored the question and took a deep breath while she got her lie together in her head. She knew she couldn't be honest with him. He wasn't going to contribute to the "Tressa's car fund". After all, he was the reason she had to scrape up money for a hoopty.

"Look Lucky, I'm in a bind. I received a cut off notice for the lights. I don't get paid until next week. I have half of the money. Do you think you could give me the other half?"

"Baby, look you know that's no problem, no matter how much it is. Why don't you and the boys just come and stay with me a couple days. I'll give you a bankroll. I miss you so much. I hate that you live over there in that hole and I want you to just give me one more chance. I love you so much. I'll make it up to you. All I am asking is for one more night, and if you don't want me after that, then I'll give you a few g's and let you be."

She paused for a minute and thought about the lifestyle that Lucky could provide for her and the boys.

Then reality set in when she reflected on how Lucky's jealous rage almost landed her sons dead, as well as herself, not to mention as an accessory to a double homicide. Then not to mention, how he'd gone to such extreme measures to make her life a living hell. After all the scrambling she had done, the prior nine months would be in vain, if she went back to him. So, her even entertaining the thought, would not be an option. She didn't want to go off and tell him exactly how much she hated him because she needed his help.

"Lucky, I don't want to lead you on, it's over between us. All I need is for you to help me with the light bill." Lucky cut her off and screamed through the phone.

"Use the half of the money you got and buy some candles, 133

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because you gonna be in the dark if it's left up to me." He slammed the phone down.

Before she knew it, Tressa had tears in her eyes.

She picked up the phone and called Lucky back. As soon as he answered, Tressa let him have it. "Look motherfucka, the whole nine months I've been gone, I ain't never asked your ass for shit. I could have, so many times, ran downtown to the white man and took you up for child support, but I didn't. I just did what I had to do for my babies. You showed up one time with a few outfits for your sons, and got mad because I didn't fall to your feet thanking you. Other than that, I held it down. All you did was try to strip me of my self-esteem, constantly trying to do everything to make me crumble. But baby, you can't make me disintegrate. You'll be the one who's going to wither like grass. You'll be the one who's going to need me." And with every once of emotion, she put emphasis on. "Because when the dust settles, I'll be the last one standing. Mark my words."

"I ain't going to need you." He started, but she slammed the phone down in his ear before he could get a word in.

That night when she got home, emotionally whipped, the phone rung.

"Hello." Tressa said, somewhat nonchantly.

"Uh, hello, can I speak to Tressa?" Mr. Bill said with caution.

"Speaking." She said with slight attitude, not really feeling like talking to anyone after the day she had.

"Tressa, it's me, Mr Bill, I was calling to see if you wanted to go out for dinner and a drink?" Mr. Bill had been calling Tressa, wanting to take her out on a date since he had seen her at his shop. She had been declining, but today was different. His call was truly perfect timing. After Shelly had worked the shit out of her (Wiggles had taken the boys for the night), she needed a drink. The people downstairs had been fighting and the ruckus was driving her crazy. Without any hesitation, she agreed to have dinner with Mr. Bill. Mr. Bill hadn't seen her since they met, and she hadn't been out since God only knows when.

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It was March, but it felt like June outside. Having been bundled up the whole winter, she was no different from all the rest of the girls when an "Indian Summer" day came along. Tressa, by no means, was attracted to the old grease monkey, and none whatsoever did she want to turn Mr. Bill on. All she wanted was a drink and a free meal.

She put on a cute little short sleeve Ralph Lauren Polo T-shirt dress that she had the summer before. Along with the dress, she dug out her Polo ankle socks and Polo deck, bo-bo tennis shoes. The ensemble was nothing too revealing, but it was working for her. The dress wasn't tight and it didn't show any cleavage, but it hugged her and breast in a way that made Mr. Bill, and every other man, eight to eighty, blind, cripple or crazy, want her.

Mr. Bill picked her up in front of her building in his gray Mercedes Benz. She couldn't believe how good the old grease monkey cleaned up. Mr. Bill could have made millions if he'd done one of those "before and after" motor oil removal soap commercials. The only thing that she still remembered from their first meeting was Mr. Bill's deep southern accent and dialect. If it wasn't for that, she may have never known who Mr. Bill was. She didn't realize until that moment, that Mr. Bill was a fine old man. She looked him over in his Armani silk pants suit and his gator looking dress shoes, his glistening diamond jewels only complemented his blue/black complexion and was kind of sexy to Tressa. However, Tressa was a little turned off by his yellow teeth that were obviously stained from smoking.

Tressa was usually ashamed at the thought of anyone visiting her. That's the very reason that, besides Wiggles, nobody came to visit her. From the guys hustling and hanging out in front of the building, handing drugs to the crack heads, the dope fiends begging, the winos drinking their Wild Irish Rose bottles, to the babies walking around with pissy pampers, and not to mention the individuals whose whole existence was to just sit on the bench and loiter in the parking lot ignoring the "No Loitering" signs, were a great embarrassment to her. Mr.

Bill didn't care anything about it, he saw potential in Tressa. He had seen her plight so many times and knew that this would only be a short stay for her. She would be 135