A Family To Cherish (18 page)

Dear Reader,

When during my fourth pregnancy I learned my unborn baby had a fatal condition that would claim her life shortly after birth, I wrestled not only with grief but with fear that such a profound loss would sever my close walk with God. Would I be bitter? Would I blame God for letting Misty die? Would I find it hard to trust Him as I had before?

But God was faithful. As a result of that long, hard journey through the shadows—and reality—of death, God gave me a precious intimacy with Him I never could have known outside of grief. The night my daughter died, I felt a tangible awareness of God's presence. It seemed as if Jesus Himself were rocking me to sleep in His arms while His Spirit whispered sweet consolations in my heart. That night I learned a crucial truth that sustains me even today: Better is a time of trial with God's presence than a time of plenty without Him.

As I wrote the story of Barbara and Doug Logan, a couple who after four years are still mourning the death of their five-year-old daughter, I wanted to show how grief can ravage the best of marriages. At a time when couples most need to turn to each other for love and solace, many turn inward and build a wall around their emotions, shutting out the person they need most. Doug turns to his work; Barbara chooses to live in the past. Only through another child—a wide-eyed, curly-haired orphan named Janee—do Doug and Barbara begin to find their way back to each other.

Often, those who grieve shut God out, as well. That is tragic, for He alone is our lifeline when the tides of loss and heartache threaten to drown us. I don't know your losses and heartaches, but I know they are there. You may feel you have no one to turn to, that no one understands. But God does. Jesus loves you with a boundless, immeasurable love, a love that took Him to the cross and delivered Him from the tomb, an unconditional love that accepts you just as you are, this very moment in time. He yearns to gather you into His arms and dry your tears. Please open your heart and let Him love and comfort you.

And remember, I love you, too.

Warmly,