50 Great Lessons from Life (2 page)

While out walking on a cold winter's night, a man wearing a hat approached me.

He didn't look well but seemed pleased to see me.

“How are you?” he asked.

It then dawned on me who he was.

The last time we had met was six months earlier, when he had been in great form.

He had been spending a lot of time at his Spanish villa and also in Paris, where he had an apartment. He was so happy and so healthy then.

It was hard to believe that this frail man was the same person.

Recently, he had been treated for a brain tumour and now was recovering.

He wanted to talk, so we went to my home which was nearby.

It seemed to me that evening that much of his old spark was still there and he himself said how lucky he was to have a second chance at life.

However, a short time after that, he died.

Material possessions, of which my friend had many, are tiny when compared to health.

Sometimes, it takes a small illness to realise this and make you adjust your priorities.

Sometimes, with a serious illness, it is too late.

One day, a friend and I discussed old times and laughed a lot.

Suddenly, the conversation took a surprising turn.

He became very serious and said, “Life can be hard”.

This surprised me, as he had good health and always seemed in great form.

He had a successful business, a big house and much money.

However, inside, he was sad and unhappy.

He told me of his son's bad health and how he would gladly give away everything if it would make his son well again.

He felt helpless.

He had discovered that real wealth has nothing to do with material possessions.

It is, he said, “all about health”.

As you go through life, you will realise more and more that, very often, things are not what they seem.

Keep breathing well, making each moment the best and be grateful for the life you have.

There is a restaurant in America where the waiters pay to work.

Where else in the world would this happen?

The owner found a property in a great location, furnished it beautifully and employed top class chefs.

The restaurant's reputation grew and it became very popular.

At staff meetings, the owner encouraged everyone to express their ideas.

They decided to rent the tables to waiters, feeling that waiters relying solely on ‘tips' would work really hard.

The diners were impressed with the service and were generous.

Out of those tips, the waiters paid their table rental.

The service got better and better.

The customers, the owners, the waiters and the suppliers were happy.

And, as the business grew, the whole area benefitted.

In the restaurant's accounts, waiters appeared as an ‘income' item and not a ‘cost'.

A friend of mine also built a successful business using a simple formula: he delivered his product ahead of the promised time, paid his suppliers ahead of the agreed time, paid his staff well and gave them generous leave.

This all helped to create a wonderful atmosphere.

The customers, the suppliers and the staff were positive and wanted the business to do better and better.

My friend did not set out to make a lot of money but his positive approach made him a fortune.

When you set a positive tone, much can be achieved.

Provence is a lovely part of France, where many wealthy people live.

One evening, a businessman who had recently bought a property in the area arrived late for a dinner that was being hosted by someone who had lived there for many years.

His flight had been delayed. He was irritated and made a noisy entrance, complaining about “that inefficient airline”.

Those attending the dinner were used to private jets and chauffeur-driven cars.

This show of insecurity was unnecessary.

A more secure man would have said, “I am sorry for being late” and left it at that.

Loud and argumentative people are often very insecure. They crave recognition and need to feel important.

You can be certain that, at any function, whether business or social or whatever, everyone is insecure. It is only a question of degree.

A well-dressed and well-spoken man sat at a table in a famous restaurant in London.

He looked relaxed and comfortable.

He ordered expensive food and wine and was treated well by the waiters, who were anticipating a big tip.

Throughout the evening, he was courteous and pleasant.

Then, as he finished his brandy, he took off his jacket, rolled up his shirt sleeves and asked to be escorted to the kitchen.

He had no money – nor any embarrassment.

We often judge people by their appearance, or by the way they speak.

A good poker player exudes confidence without a single good card in his hand.

He never shows the weakness of his position.

World champion snooker player Denis Taylor said that, as he played his final shot in the championship, he was shaking and could hardly hold his cue.

He hid his nervousness well.

We sometimes judge the book by the cover and are disappointed.

We sometimes judge the bottle of wine by the label, and again are disappointed.

Does anyone really know you? Nobody does!

You will never really know anyone.

Everyone has greater strengths, greater weaknesses and greater challenges than you realise.

Don't rush to judgement.

You are certainly wrong.

It's only a question of how wrong.

Don't let little things bother you.

Don't get irritated or upset if:

• Your phone call is not answered or returned;
  
• You are kept waiting;
  
• You are not included in a meeting or event;
  
• You appear to be ignored;
  
• You are placed down the pecking order at a function.
  

Think on a higher level.

Don't read too much into the situation.

Most people are pre-occupied with their own issues and are not trying to hurt you or be mean to you.

There is usually a simple explanation.

Many slights are unintentional. Most are imagined.

When you think on a higher level, you are in control.

The elderly newspaper seller makes each moment the best.

His instant response is: “Things couldn't be better. I have my health. What more do I need?”

He realises how lucky he is.

He loves life, enjoys a laugh and makes everyone he meets feel good.

But, for many others, life is tough.

Each day, on our TV screens, we see scenes of violence from around the world.

If you walk down any street, you see people who are suffering.

They are sad and there is a sense of hopelessness in their expressions.

Often, they have nobody to turn to.

Although you may have big issues to face, with a clear head you will deal with them well.

When you consider the great things in your life, starting with your three priceless assets, you will realise how fortunate you are.

When you decide to make each moment the best, mind your health and maintain a good sense of humour, you need little else.

The elderly newspaper seller understands this well.

Summer in the West of Ireland can be magical.

One day, a middle-aged man sat by a lake.

He had big challenges.

But his breathing was great and he decided to make each moment the best.

In that wonderful setting he watched the warm breeze skim the surface of that lake and the ripples as they crept to the bank.

The clear blue sky and the green fields and forests and mountains created a sense of calmness and timelessness.

It was as if life was standing still.

He remembered a poem from his schooldays:

Four ducks on a pond
A green bank beyond
A blue sky of spring
Birds on the wing
Oh what a sight
To remember for years
To remember with tears!

He had been so lucky.

Where had those 50 years gone?

And yet, in the timeless world of nature, little had changed.

Having enjoyed a great day, he decided to slow down.

When you create space and take time to smell the roses, you feel the magic of the moment.

This is your life, and it is a good life.

Most people whom we meet are kind and helpful.

Only a few have been unkind and unhelpful.

Forgive them!

It is over!

Don't let anger and hurt stay in your system.

Let them go.

Be kind to those who you forgive.

Once you forgive, your health will improve.

Don't harbour any bad feelings or grudges.

They make you old.

Then, as you move at a slower pace, remember that everyone has much bigger challenges than appear on the surface.

Make allowances. Most people are doing their best.

Like you, they have made many mistakes and have many regrets.

They are human, too.

Bill Shankley, the legendary manager of Liverpool Football Club, whose team had just beaten Newcastle United in the FA Cup Final, went over to the Newcastle players as the game ended, consoling them and telling them that their day would come.

This was the act of a big and generous person, who knew how awful players feel when they lose an important game.

When you are big and generous, you and those around you feel better.

When you are big and generous, you make people feel valued.

You make them feel important.

You listen to their views and you share some of what you have learnt.

You laugh at jokes, even though you have heard them many times.

Big and generous people don't have to win every game or debate.

They know that a positive atmosphere brings out the best in everyone.

So they create a positive atmosphere wherever they are.

The former Chairman of the AIB Group, Niall Crowley was a big and generous man.

After each Audit Committee meeting, he would send me a hand-written note, thanking me for my work.

These short notes were read many times.

They meant so much.

They were so appreciated; they were so motivational.

A note that says “Well done” or “Thank you” or “Good luck” or “I'm sorry” can make someone feel great.

When you write such notes, you will be amazed at how well they will be received.

It won't be forgotten – even after many years.

Most people receive few such notes in their lifetime.

It is surprising that something that takes such little time and is so appreciated is so rare.

A marathon runner looks calm and serene as he runs that long race.

He has his challenges.

Conditions are not always easy.

But he will enjoy the run and will stay the course.

Pace yourself. Avoid rushing and strain.

Stay positive.

You will overcome your challenges.

Take everything in your stride.

Sometimes, you will need to change pace.

Do it gently.

Stay in control.

Continue to make each moment the best.

When you eliminate worry, your energy will return.

That energy will help to keep you young.

When you feel like this, you find good in others and the world seems brighter and your challenges seem smaller.

Try to ‘smell the roses' in silence and in solitude as often as you can.

That sense of calm and beauty and timelessness also will help you to stay young.

When you feel happy and healthy and big, you feel young.

A good sense of humour and laughter also will keep you young.

Don't see yourself as getting old.

Think young and you will be young.

Some years ago, a French golfer, Jan Van deVelde, was leading the British Open golf championship as he came to the last hole at Carnoustie, in Scotland.

He could afford to take a 6 on that par 4 hole and still win.

He knew that to win the British Open is one of the great achievements in golf.

He wanted to win it so badly that he became his own toughest opponent (many people experience this).

The pressure got to him.

As the tension built, he rushed his shots – to get them over with – and made mistakes.

These mistakes increased his tension.

Things went from bad to worse.

He lost the championship.

This pattern is common.

Everyone likes to win.

But you won't always win – nobody does.

Continue to believe in yourself and relax.

And remember it is only a game.

Should tension creep in, concentrate.

Concentration relieves tension.

If you lose, it will not be the end of the world.

Whether you win or lose, have fun.